Hi friends.
It's currently 10pm on a Saturday night and I am writing this post since I finally have the time. I put the kids to bed two hours ago (not mine, relax) and finished cleaning up the dishes and wiping down the messy pizza counter.
Babysitting on a Saturday night the weekend before spring break isn't exactly the way I saw my plans going, but hey, the kids are adorable AND I get paid. We could all use a little more cash money.
Tomorrow will be the first of March and this next Friday I will be turning twenty years old.
Twenty, man. Two zero. That's fucking nuts.
Needless to say, I'm a little brain-scrambled considering this is my last full week as a teenager. God, even writing that makes me want to puke. I know life is all about living in the present and not dwelling on the past and enjoying every moment blablabla but it's terrifying to think twenty whole years of my life will have gone by.
On the one hand, I'm impressed. Not too long ago, Maya thought she wouldn't make it past eighteen. And here she is completing two decades of life. Wild. On the other hand, what the hell does one do when they're twenty? Do you magically learn how to file taxes? Do you take out a mortgage? Are you stuck with the same job for years or are you stuck in your parent's apartment for eternity? I know nobody ever really has it all figured out but like, I don't even know how to drive yet. Most kids my little brother's age are learning how to drive and sometimes I just feel kinda inadequate. Eh, I'll learn eventually.
February was kind of a trash month for everyone I know. Mercury in retrograde or whatever. Bad juju in the air. Fukú and whatnot. Anyhow, I'm hoping that since February has come to an end, March will provide a clean slate and restore balance to us all. It had better for me at least. It's my birthday month, after all.
Second week of break, the Owls and I are headed on tour to Chicago which will definitely merit a whole post of its own. I haven't been there since I was ten years old, man. It's been a while.
After coming back from break, we'll only have six weeks of school left. That's it. Six weeks and I will have finished my first whole year of college. Another feat I never thought I'd get to see. Then summer, then sophomore year. Insane.
I'm a little nervous because I don't have any summer jobs lined up yet for a number of reasons but I'm hopeful I'll make something work. I'm likeable and skilled enough, I suppose.
The room I'm currently sat in is freezing yet surprisingly cozy. I just wish I could smuggle a blanket in somewhere...
I know I talk about this a fuckton but I just have so many projects I want to work on and create. I just have to find the energy and motivation from somewhere first. It's getting there. At least I forced myself to write this post. Forcing myself to write at least makes me feel like I'm doing something.
In any case, my friends are wonderful and I love them so incredibly much because they put up with me even when I'm trash and am a little shit :) Y'all are the best, babes :*
There was no real point to this post other than explaining that I've had a pretty long four weeks and I'm looking forward to the next four. Yeah. I think that's it.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
P.S: MY PHONE CAMERA STARTED WORKING AGAIN AND I AM OVER THE MOON ABOUT IT I JUST KEEP TAKING PICTURES OF RANDOM SHIT YALL IT'S GREAT
Saturday, February 29, 2020
Friday, February 14, 2020
More Important Things than Valentine's Day
Hey everyone. It's been a while. Sorry about that.
Yet again I find myself writing seemingly nonsensical gibberish at four in the morning. To be fair, at least I don't have class on Fridays. I went to bed wicked early last night with the intention to wake up around 3am so I could deliver my absent roommate's adorable Valentine's Day treats, and I guess I just haven't fallen asleep since.
I took the opportunity that I was awake to edit Pri's college app essays which I had promised to take care of two days ago. I'd been meaning to do it but always found myself preoccupied or too tired. I'm proud to say it's over and done with now though. It's something I accomplished and can now tick off my to-do list.
I've been binge-watching Season 3 of Riverdale because I love my trashy Cole Sprouse show with all my heart no matter how bad it is or how many plotholes there are. I've been trying to make it through the week relatively unscathed. Hasn't particularly worked. After my roommate, Jessica had to go home last week due to an emergency, I haven't quite been able to pull myself out of this weird energy vacuum. I miss her like hell. I miss when the room wasn't so empty. She'll be back eventually but it might take a while, we don't know.
Though I love my classes and my job and my friends and my schedule this semester, I've still been struggling with some other energy-sucking situations. Meetings with the Title IX office; meetings with my therapist; meetings with my survivor's group therapy; meetings with my academic/life coach; it's just all been a lot. And I've been well supported, I have, but it's still like... Like I just don't have the focus or alertness to do it all, all the time, you know?
Anyway.
I love my job—working with little kids brings so much joy. I love my Movement for Actors and Jazz Dance classes the most. It feels so good to get out of my head and into my body and get actual academic credit for it. I love my friends—the ones that listen to my bullshit stories and the ones that take me for a drive at two in the morning and the ones that take spontaneous diner trips for shakes and fries and the ones that take boudoir photos of each other and the ones that play cards against humanity till we pee ourselves and the ones that agree to sing their heart out with me. They're all so special and I adore them so so so so much. I love my roommate and I cannot wait until she gets back.
I've sort of been in a creative block lately. Like I have so many ideas and have so many things I want to create and pursue but I just can't bring myself to start any of them. Writing this blogpost was my attempt to just kinda get out there and make something even if it's shit. It beats keeping everything inside my head.
Tomorrow or I guess later tonight, I'm going to see my friend Leila's burlesque show and I'm super duper excited about that. And on Saturday, the Owls have their annual Margaritowlville concert. The dress code is all black—dress to undress. So that's pretty exciting too. I'm gonna attempt to do as much of my work ahead of time as possible so I can fully enjoy the weekend in all its glory.
Or something like that.
Ay, mijos, it's nearly 5am and I still haven't gone back to bed. I should fix that, really. Tomorrow I will breathe to life new accomplishments and new creations and I will have things to be proud of. I will I will I will.
Here's wishing you all a dandy Valentine's Day. May it be everything you want it to be or not be.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Yet again I find myself writing seemingly nonsensical gibberish at four in the morning. To be fair, at least I don't have class on Fridays. I went to bed wicked early last night with the intention to wake up around 3am so I could deliver my absent roommate's adorable Valentine's Day treats, and I guess I just haven't fallen asleep since.
I took the opportunity that I was awake to edit Pri's college app essays which I had promised to take care of two days ago. I'd been meaning to do it but always found myself preoccupied or too tired. I'm proud to say it's over and done with now though. It's something I accomplished and can now tick off my to-do list.
I've been binge-watching Season 3 of Riverdale because I love my trashy Cole Sprouse show with all my heart no matter how bad it is or how many plotholes there are. I've been trying to make it through the week relatively unscathed. Hasn't particularly worked. After my roommate, Jessica had to go home last week due to an emergency, I haven't quite been able to pull myself out of this weird energy vacuum. I miss her like hell. I miss when the room wasn't so empty. She'll be back eventually but it might take a while, we don't know.
Though I love my classes and my job and my friends and my schedule this semester, I've still been struggling with some other energy-sucking situations. Meetings with the Title IX office; meetings with my therapist; meetings with my survivor's group therapy; meetings with my academic/life coach; it's just all been a lot. And I've been well supported, I have, but it's still like... Like I just don't have the focus or alertness to do it all, all the time, you know?
Anyway.
I love my job—working with little kids brings so much joy. I love my Movement for Actors and Jazz Dance classes the most. It feels so good to get out of my head and into my body and get actual academic credit for it. I love my friends—the ones that listen to my bullshit stories and the ones that take me for a drive at two in the morning and the ones that take spontaneous diner trips for shakes and fries and the ones that take boudoir photos of each other and the ones that play cards against humanity till we pee ourselves and the ones that agree to sing their heart out with me. They're all so special and I adore them so so so so much. I love my roommate and I cannot wait until she gets back.
I've sort of been in a creative block lately. Like I have so many ideas and have so many things I want to create and pursue but I just can't bring myself to start any of them. Writing this blogpost was my attempt to just kinda get out there and make something even if it's shit. It beats keeping everything inside my head.
Tomorrow or I guess later tonight, I'm going to see my friend Leila's burlesque show and I'm super duper excited about that. And on Saturday, the Owls have their annual Margaritowlville concert. The dress code is all black—dress to undress. So that's pretty exciting too. I'm gonna attempt to do as much of my work ahead of time as possible so I can fully enjoy the weekend in all its glory.
Or something like that.
Ay, mijos, it's nearly 5am and I still haven't gone back to bed. I should fix that, really. Tomorrow I will breathe to life new accomplishments and new creations and I will have things to be proud of. I will I will I will.
Here's wishing you all a dandy Valentine's Day. May it be everything you want it to be or not be.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
Perhaps the First Good Year
Once again, I'm the worst. To be fair, though, this time I didn't have internet on the day it was meant to be posted sooooo.......... Pretend this was posted on December 31st lmao XD
You won't even believe it but this year was the beginning of good news. Good news! For me! That hasn't happened for me in years, and that is not an exaggeration. Anyhow, this post was a lot more fun to write this time because it wasn't the same old depressing bullshit. At least for the most part.
1. What did you do in 2019 that you'd never done before?
Hmm, I'm trying to remember... Oh right. I FINISHED MY FIRST EVER FULL SEMESTER OF COLLEGE!!! FUCK YEAH!!! I also became a waitress for the first time, got fired for the first time (from that same job lol), became a dogwalker and a babysitter simultaneously, initiated my first ever breakup (that's huge for me, I've never been the one to initiate the split), I learned how to cartwheel, how to change a tire, I had my first ever successful hookup, I stood up to men who thought they could get away with treating me condescendingly and coercively, I performed in community theatre for the first time, I adopted KITTIES!, I became the primary caretaker/financial supporter in my household for a period of time, I experienced hunger, I overcame said hunger along with a bunch of other challenges and now I am here :)
2. Did you keep your New Years Resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I think I remember saying all I wanted for myself was self-compassion. It wasn't always easy but dear God, I think I finally am starting to get the hang of it. Next year, I want to continue on that track but also try to develop some more healthy day-to-day routines. Nothing should be more of a priority than my health.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin Alex and his wife Chelsea had their first child together, Xander, and he's the cutest little nugget there ever was. Also, WE ADOPTED TWO INSANELY CRAZY AND ADORABLE CATS AND I'M OVER THE MOON ABOUT IT.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Mike Meads was in the year below me and even though I'd never been close to him, his death was unexpected and tragic and hurt many lives. Then Mary Oliver, Luke Perry, and Cameron Boyce, other untimely tragedies that shook my soul more than I thought they would. It was also the first anniversary of Titi's death. That was hard.
5. What countries did you visit?
US and DR, baby. I'm a predictable bitch.
6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?
I think just more financial security and the ability to find consistent routines that work for me.
7. What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
January 5th. Send in college apps.
January 6th. YD goes to Rome.
January 22nd. First day waitressing.
February 9th. Visit Evan and Linnea <3
February 11th. First (initiated) breakup.
February 14th. Margaritowlville!
February 16th. Freaky Friday.
February 23rd. Meet Noah!
March 6th. Last teen year.
March 9th. Into the Spiderverse.
March 17th. Doña Flor y Sus Dos Maridos.
April 1st. Vassar says yes!
April 5th. NEWSIES.
April 11th. First time getting fired :/
April 20th. Dogsit for Shea.
April 24th. Hadestown <3
April 25th. Change a tire.
May 5th. Seussical.
May 10th. Les Mis.
May 18th. Nat's Dance Recital!
May 26th. Babies' graduation!
May 27th. Brunch Reunion w/ Fonts, Claire & Clara.
June 8th. Minigolf with CJ, NJ + Matt.
June 14th. WIFE!!!
June 21st. Whose Live Is It Anyway w/ The Martins.
June 30. Pride with Kota.
July 6th. RIP Cameron Boyce <3
July 12th. Spiderman: Far From Home.
July 30th. Marshland Conservancy.
August 6th. Kitty Adoption Day!
August 22nd. Vassar Round 2.
August 30th. Titi <3
September 15th. Owl Sing-Ins!
October 10th. Still.
October 11th. The Flick.
October 31st. O'Hysteria.
November 13th. Summertime/Wintertime.
November 22nd. Safe Hands.
November 23rd. Nina.
December 4th. Fun Home.
December 12th. Owls Final Concert.
December 14th. Beats Final Concert.
December 19th. Beats Suite Christmas.
December 20th. Return to the island.
December 21st. The Big Chop.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I somehow managed to make myself my number 1 priority. It didn't always work and there definitely were times where I had to put my family first but at least I didn't fall into the trap of needing a companion to get me through it all. I was there to get me through it all. I was capable and strong and determined and I was enough.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't really like to think of anything as a failure because from our mistakes, we learn. I would have liked to continue and get through my Fundamentals of Music class, but ultimately I made the right decision in withdrawing. It was sucking up all my energy and time and was wrecking my mental health so I'm glad I let it go.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Oh goodness, my immune system has never been the strongest and after working so closely with kids so often, you pick up all their gross little germs. Needless to say, I was pretty consistently sick for about half of this year. Finished the year off with a month and a half long bout of bronchitis :)
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Tickets to Hadestown. Wouldn't have traded them for the world.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My usual go-to's, Linnea and Evan—I seriously don't know what I'd do without them; my cousin Natasha who is the older sister I never had; Papi for breaking the cycle that had been eating at him for the past five years; and my lovely roommate Jessica, who made coming back to school the most fun ever.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled?
So many people in power. It's nauseating, really.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Groceries, rent, medical bills. That's what life as a real adult is like.
15. What did you get really, really excited about?
Seeing Hadestown with my dad as our joint birthday present :) Performing Newsies with a cast of unbelievably amazing people. Adopting two precious kitties <3 Rejoining the path of college education. Getting to sing with my Night Owls once more. Watching professional-grade theatre for free because my college's drama department slaps. The new Dominican food place down the street from my dorm.
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2019?
Señorita by Camila Cabello & Shawn Mendes
Old Town Road by Lil Nas X
I BEEN BORN AGAIN by BROCKHAMPTON
bad guy by Billie Eilish
7 rings by Ariana Grande
Sucker by Jonas Brothers
Lights Up by Harry Styles
Dancing With a Stranger by Sam Smith ft Normani
Circles by Post Malone
If I Can't Have You by Shawn Mendes
Dance Monkey by Tones and I
Juice by Lizzo
bury a friend by Billie Eilish
break up with your girlfriend, im bored by Ariana Grande
DDU-DU DDU-DU by BLACKPINK
Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran
Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles
Cool by Jonas Brothers
BOY BYE by BROCKHAMPTON
Tempo by Lizzo ft Missy Elliot
Movement by Hozier
2 by H.E.R.
Greedy by Ariana Grande
Earth by Lil Dicky
Nightmare by Halsey
Kill This Love by BLACKPINK
Con Calma by Daddy Yankee
Back Pocket by Vulfpeck
365 by Zedd ft Katy Perry
Boys by Lizzo
bloodline by Ariana Grande
Exactly How I Feel by Lizzo ft Gucci Mane
Grow As We Go by Ben Platt
NO HALO by BROCKHAMPTON
i'm so tired by Lauv ft Troye Sivan
Truth Hurts by Lizzo
Funky Duck by Vulfpeck
MONOPOLY by Ariana Grande ft Victoria Monét
Mount Everest by Labrinth
Level Up by Ciara
Go DJ by KAYTRANADA ft SiR
The Box by Roddy Rich
thank u, next by Ariana Grande
Down Bad by Dreamville ft JID, J. Cole, EARTHGANG, Young Nudy
Need It by KAYTRANADA ft Masego
Solita by Kali Uchis
Fred Astaire by Jukebox The Ghost
Que Calor by Major Lazer ft J Balvin & El Alfa
All For Us by Labrinth ft Zendaya
Narcos by Migos
MALAMENTE by ROSALIA
151 Rum by JID
Hold Up by Beyoncé
Stop Your Crying by Lake Street Drive
Trampoline by SHAED ft ZAYN
River by Leon Bridges
i love you by Billie Eilish
Obsessed by Mariah Carey
Hey DJ by CNCO ft Yandel
Undrunk by FLETCHER
Teeth by 5 Seconds of Summer
hot girl bummer by blackbear
16 shots by Steffon Don
Lalala by Y2K, bbno$
Callaita by Bad Bunny ft Tainy
Don't Call Me Angel by Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus ft Lana del Rey
California Dreamin' by The Mamas & The Papas
Jailbreak the Tesla by Injury Reserve by Aminé
I THINK by Tyler, The Creator
715 Creeks by Bon Iver
Good Kisser by Lake Street Drive
My Type by Saweetie
Jesus Is The One (I Got Depression) by Zack Fox, Kenny Beats
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
(a) Definitely happier. Without a doubt.
(b) Probably fatter lol Gaining muscle is exhausting.
(c) I think richer but it certainly doesn't feel like it what with all the adulting.
18. What do you wish you had done more of?
Enjoying the moment. Feeling confident in my abilities. Writing.
19. What do you wish you had done less of?
It may come as no surprise to you but worrying. It's time-consuming and unnecessary. Things work out in the end, not always the way we want them to but they do.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Uneventfully at my mom's apartment in DR surrounded by my fam.
21. Did you fall in love in 2019?
I'd like to say I learned how to fall in love with myself.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Where do I even start? Here are the ones that come to mind:
Dead to Me
Derry Girls
Scrubs
Riverdale
Friends (I watched all 10 seasons in about three weeks oops)
Euphoria
Barry
His Dark Materials
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Queer Eye
Stranger Things (duh)
The Act
Schitt's Creek
23. Do you hate someone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Ooooooof sometimes men as a whole make me real mad. I'll just leave that there.
24. What was the best book you read?
I'm forgetting which books I read this year and which I read last year so I'm hoping these are accurate? I think it was a pretty good year for reading :)
Beautiful Broken Things
My Heart and Other Black Holes
Zac & Mia
Reincarnation Blues
Prince Charming
The Sun is Also A Star
Milk & Honey
Rainbow in the Cloud
Gmorning Gnight
Real Women Have Curves
Make Your Home Among Strangers
The Farming of Bones
Where the Crawdads Sing
The Sun & Her Flowers
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Ben Platt's Sing Me To Sleep
KATRANADA's BUBBA
Harry Styles's Fine Line
Ariana Grande's thank u, next
BROCKHAMPTON's GINGER
Fun Home Soundtrack
Hadestown Soundtrack
Vanara the Musical Soundtrack
26. What did you want and get?
A speck of stability which I didn't ever think I'd get in the next few years.
27. What did you want and not get?
Inner family peace but we're working on it.
28. What was your favorite film of the year?
As always, there is never one single answer:
Avengers: Endgame
Joker
The Lighthouse
Spiderman: Far From Home
Captain Marvel
The Lion King
Little
Always Be My Maybe
Downton Abbey
After (lmaoooooo)
Let It Snow
Klaus <3
I have yet to see:
Hustlers
Rocketman
Aladdin
Judy
The Two Popes
Good Boys
Honeyland
Peanut Butter Falcon
booksmart
Toy Story 4
Missing Link
29. What is one thing that made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Quality time with my dad, my brothers, Natasha, the kitties... And getting beyond lucky when it came to my sweet hallmates and roommate :)
30. How would you describe your fashion concept in 2019?
Comfy girl-next-door
31. What kept you sane?
ASMR. Kiddos. My best friends.
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Wow um cool if Hunter Shafer wants to accept my hand in marriage, I would be over the moon <3 Then again, I've got my usual suspects: Zendaya, Tom Holland, Ana de Armas, Lana Condor, Noah Centineo, Joey King, Cole Sprouse, Billie Eilish, Reeve Carney, Eva Noblezada, Ben Platt, Harry Styles, and of course, Lizzo.
33. What political issue stirred you the most?
Sigh. 2019 was not unique in its growing cases of hate and violence. Between the mass shootings, the numerous cases of transphobia, islamophobia, and anti-semitism, the blatant acts of terrorism, raging fires, families being separated and children being put in cages... I just have no words. It is each and every one of our responsibility to be better. This world cannot improve on its own—it is imperative that we step in and make every little tiny difference we can.
34. Who do you miss?
My mom. Suki. My grandparents. My brothers. Phoenix and Scout. Evan & Linnea.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019.
You have courage made of steel, babe. You are made of bravery and determination and perseverance. You are made of stars and exploding galaxies and the Sun and the Moon. There is absolutely nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it. I have every faith that you will succeed. I love you I love you I love you.
36. Quote a song lyrics that sums up your year:
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
P.S: Happy Birthday a billion days late Maeve, my dear <3
You won't even believe it but this year was the beginning of good news. Good news! For me! That hasn't happened for me in years, and that is not an exaggeration. Anyhow, this post was a lot more fun to write this time because it wasn't the same old depressing bullshit. At least for the most part.
1. What did you do in 2019 that you'd never done before?
Hmm, I'm trying to remember... Oh right. I FINISHED MY FIRST EVER FULL SEMESTER OF COLLEGE!!! FUCK YEAH!!! I also became a waitress for the first time, got fired for the first time (from that same job lol), became a dogwalker and a babysitter simultaneously, initiated my first ever breakup (that's huge for me, I've never been the one to initiate the split), I learned how to cartwheel, how to change a tire, I had my first ever successful hookup, I stood up to men who thought they could get away with treating me condescendingly and coercively, I performed in community theatre for the first time, I adopted KITTIES!, I became the primary caretaker/financial supporter in my household for a period of time, I experienced hunger, I overcame said hunger along with a bunch of other challenges and now I am here :)
2. Did you keep your New Years Resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I think I remember saying all I wanted for myself was self-compassion. It wasn't always easy but dear God, I think I finally am starting to get the hang of it. Next year, I want to continue on that track but also try to develop some more healthy day-to-day routines. Nothing should be more of a priority than my health.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin Alex and his wife Chelsea had their first child together, Xander, and he's the cutest little nugget there ever was. Also, WE ADOPTED TWO INSANELY CRAZY AND ADORABLE CATS AND I'M OVER THE MOON ABOUT IT.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Mike Meads was in the year below me and even though I'd never been close to him, his death was unexpected and tragic and hurt many lives. Then Mary Oliver, Luke Perry, and Cameron Boyce, other untimely tragedies that shook my soul more than I thought they would. It was also the first anniversary of Titi's death. That was hard.
5. What countries did you visit?
US and DR, baby. I'm a predictable bitch.
6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?
I think just more financial security and the ability to find consistent routines that work for me.
7. What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
January 5th. Send in college apps.
January 6th. YD goes to Rome.
January 22nd. First day waitressing.
February 9th. Visit Evan and Linnea <3
February 11th. First (initiated) breakup.
February 14th. Margaritowlville!
February 16th. Freaky Friday.
February 23rd. Meet Noah!
March 6th. Last teen year.
March 9th. Into the Spiderverse.
March 17th. Doña Flor y Sus Dos Maridos.
April 1st. Vassar says yes!
April 5th. NEWSIES.
April 11th. First time getting fired :/
April 20th. Dogsit for Shea.
April 24th. Hadestown <3
April 25th. Change a tire.
May 5th. Seussical.
May 10th. Les Mis.
May 18th. Nat's Dance Recital!
May 26th. Babies' graduation!
May 27th. Brunch Reunion w/ Fonts, Claire & Clara.
June 8th. Minigolf with CJ, NJ + Matt.
June 14th. WIFE!!!
June 21st. Whose Live Is It Anyway w/ The Martins.
June 30. Pride with Kota.
July 6th. RIP Cameron Boyce <3
July 12th. Spiderman: Far From Home.
July 30th. Marshland Conservancy.
August 6th. Kitty Adoption Day!
August 22nd. Vassar Round 2.
August 30th. Titi <3
September 15th. Owl Sing-Ins!
October 10th. Still.
October 11th. The Flick.
October 31st. O'Hysteria.
November 13th. Summertime/Wintertime.
November 22nd. Safe Hands.
November 23rd. Nina.
December 4th. Fun Home.
December 12th. Owls Final Concert.
December 14th. Beats Final Concert.
December 19th. Beats Suite Christmas.
December 20th. Return to the island.
December 21st. The Big Chop.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I somehow managed to make myself my number 1 priority. It didn't always work and there definitely were times where I had to put my family first but at least I didn't fall into the trap of needing a companion to get me through it all. I was there to get me through it all. I was capable and strong and determined and I was enough.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't really like to think of anything as a failure because from our mistakes, we learn. I would have liked to continue and get through my Fundamentals of Music class, but ultimately I made the right decision in withdrawing. It was sucking up all my energy and time and was wrecking my mental health so I'm glad I let it go.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Oh goodness, my immune system has never been the strongest and after working so closely with kids so often, you pick up all their gross little germs. Needless to say, I was pretty consistently sick for about half of this year. Finished the year off with a month and a half long bout of bronchitis :)
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Tickets to Hadestown. Wouldn't have traded them for the world.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My usual go-to's, Linnea and Evan—I seriously don't know what I'd do without them; my cousin Natasha who is the older sister I never had; Papi for breaking the cycle that had been eating at him for the past five years; and my lovely roommate Jessica, who made coming back to school the most fun ever.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled?
So many people in power. It's nauseating, really.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Groceries, rent, medical bills. That's what life as a real adult is like.
15. What did you get really, really excited about?
Seeing Hadestown with my dad as our joint birthday present :) Performing Newsies with a cast of unbelievably amazing people. Adopting two precious kitties <3 Rejoining the path of college education. Getting to sing with my Night Owls once more. Watching professional-grade theatre for free because my college's drama department slaps. The new Dominican food place down the street from my dorm.
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2019?
Señorita by Camila Cabello & Shawn Mendes
Old Town Road by Lil Nas X
I BEEN BORN AGAIN by BROCKHAMPTON
bad guy by Billie Eilish
7 rings by Ariana Grande
Sucker by Jonas Brothers
Lights Up by Harry Styles
Dancing With a Stranger by Sam Smith ft Normani
Circles by Post Malone
If I Can't Have You by Shawn Mendes
Dance Monkey by Tones and I
Juice by Lizzo
bury a friend by Billie Eilish
break up with your girlfriend, im bored by Ariana Grande
DDU-DU DDU-DU by BLACKPINK
Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran
Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles
Cool by Jonas Brothers
BOY BYE by BROCKHAMPTON
Tempo by Lizzo ft Missy Elliot
Movement by Hozier
2 by H.E.R.
Greedy by Ariana Grande
Earth by Lil Dicky
Nightmare by Halsey
Kill This Love by BLACKPINK
Con Calma by Daddy Yankee
Back Pocket by Vulfpeck
365 by Zedd ft Katy Perry
Boys by Lizzo
bloodline by Ariana Grande
Exactly How I Feel by Lizzo ft Gucci Mane
Grow As We Go by Ben Platt
NO HALO by BROCKHAMPTON
i'm so tired by Lauv ft Troye Sivan
Truth Hurts by Lizzo
Funky Duck by Vulfpeck
MONOPOLY by Ariana Grande ft Victoria Monét
Mount Everest by Labrinth
Level Up by Ciara
Go DJ by KAYTRANADA ft SiR
The Box by Roddy Rich
thank u, next by Ariana Grande
Down Bad by Dreamville ft JID, J. Cole, EARTHGANG, Young Nudy
Need It by KAYTRANADA ft Masego
Solita by Kali Uchis
Fred Astaire by Jukebox The Ghost
Que Calor by Major Lazer ft J Balvin & El Alfa
All For Us by Labrinth ft Zendaya
Narcos by Migos
MALAMENTE by ROSALIA
151 Rum by JID
Hold Up by Beyoncé
Stop Your Crying by Lake Street Drive
Trampoline by SHAED ft ZAYN
River by Leon Bridges
i love you by Billie Eilish
Obsessed by Mariah Carey
Hey DJ by CNCO ft Yandel
Undrunk by FLETCHER
Teeth by 5 Seconds of Summer
hot girl bummer by blackbear
16 shots by Steffon Don
Lalala by Y2K, bbno$
Callaita by Bad Bunny ft Tainy
Don't Call Me Angel by Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus ft Lana del Rey
California Dreamin' by The Mamas & The Papas
Jailbreak the Tesla by Injury Reserve by Aminé
I THINK by Tyler, The Creator
715 Creeks by Bon Iver
Good Kisser by Lake Street Drive
My Type by Saweetie
Jesus Is The One (I Got Depression) by Zack Fox, Kenny Beats
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
(a) Definitely happier. Without a doubt.
(b) Probably fatter lol Gaining muscle is exhausting.
(c) I think richer but it certainly doesn't feel like it what with all the adulting.
18. What do you wish you had done more of?
Enjoying the moment. Feeling confident in my abilities. Writing.
19. What do you wish you had done less of?
It may come as no surprise to you but worrying. It's time-consuming and unnecessary. Things work out in the end, not always the way we want them to but they do.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Uneventfully at my mom's apartment in DR surrounded by my fam.
21. Did you fall in love in 2019?
I'd like to say I learned how to fall in love with myself.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Where do I even start? Here are the ones that come to mind:
Dead to Me
Derry Girls
Scrubs
Riverdale
Friends (I watched all 10 seasons in about three weeks oops)
Euphoria
Barry
His Dark Materials
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Queer Eye
Stranger Things (duh)
The Act
Schitt's Creek
23. Do you hate someone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Ooooooof sometimes men as a whole make me real mad. I'll just leave that there.
24. What was the best book you read?
I'm forgetting which books I read this year and which I read last year so I'm hoping these are accurate? I think it was a pretty good year for reading :)
Beautiful Broken Things
My Heart and Other Black Holes
Zac & Mia
Reincarnation Blues
Prince Charming
The Sun is Also A Star
Milk & Honey
Rainbow in the Cloud
Gmorning Gnight
Real Women Have Curves
Make Your Home Among Strangers
The Farming of Bones
Where the Crawdads Sing
The Sun & Her Flowers
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Ben Platt's Sing Me To Sleep
KATRANADA's BUBBA
Harry Styles's Fine Line
Ariana Grande's thank u, next
BROCKHAMPTON's GINGER
Fun Home Soundtrack
Hadestown Soundtrack
Vanara the Musical Soundtrack
26. What did you want and get?
A speck of stability which I didn't ever think I'd get in the next few years.
27. What did you want and not get?
Inner family peace but we're working on it.
28. What was your favorite film of the year?
As always, there is never one single answer:
Avengers: Endgame
Joker
The Lighthouse
Spiderman: Far From Home
Captain Marvel
The Lion King
Little
Always Be My Maybe
Downton Abbey
After (lmaoooooo)
Let It Snow
Klaus <3
I have yet to see:
Hustlers
Rocketman
Aladdin
Judy
The Two Popes
Good Boys
Honeyland
Peanut Butter Falcon
booksmart
Toy Story 4
Missing Link
29. What is one thing that made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Quality time with my dad, my brothers, Natasha, the kitties... And getting beyond lucky when it came to my sweet hallmates and roommate :)
30. How would you describe your fashion concept in 2019?
Comfy girl-next-door
31. What kept you sane?
ASMR. Kiddos. My best friends.
32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Wow um cool if Hunter Shafer wants to accept my hand in marriage, I would be over the moon <3 Then again, I've got my usual suspects: Zendaya, Tom Holland, Ana de Armas, Lana Condor, Noah Centineo, Joey King, Cole Sprouse, Billie Eilish, Reeve Carney, Eva Noblezada, Ben Platt, Harry Styles, and of course, Lizzo.
33. What political issue stirred you the most?
Sigh. 2019 was not unique in its growing cases of hate and violence. Between the mass shootings, the numerous cases of transphobia, islamophobia, and anti-semitism, the blatant acts of terrorism, raging fires, families being separated and children being put in cages... I just have no words. It is each and every one of our responsibility to be better. This world cannot improve on its own—it is imperative that we step in and make every little tiny difference we can.
34. Who do you miss?
My mom. Suki. My grandparents. My brothers. Phoenix and Scout. Evan & Linnea.
35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019.
You have courage made of steel, babe. You are made of bravery and determination and perseverance. You are made of stars and exploding galaxies and the Sun and the Moon. There is absolutely nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it. I have every faith that you will succeed. I love you I love you I love you.
36. Quote a song lyrics that sums up your year:
"Woo girl, need to kick off your shoes
Got to take a deep breath, time to focus on you
All the big fights, long nights that you been through
I got a bottle of Tequila I been saving for you
Boss up and change your life
You can have it all, no sacrifice
I know he did you wrong, we can make it right
So go and let it all hang out tonight"
"Good as Hell" by Lizzo
Got to take a deep breath, time to focus on you
All the big fights, long nights that you been through
I got a bottle of Tequila I been saving for you
Boss up and change your life
You can have it all, no sacrifice
I know he did you wrong, we can make it right
So go and let it all hang out tonight"
"Good as Hell" by Lizzo
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
P.S: Happy Birthday a billion days late Maeve, my dear <3
Wednesday, December 25, 2019
Turkey Day List #2
Quick lil note: I am the worst at turning things in on time, even things like this. So bear with me pls. Pretend I posted this a whole month ago, cool thanks.
You know how this goes.
Mami & Papi: Change is inevitable. We are always growing, always learning, always evolving. It is not easy. I am proud of you. I love you both. With every fiber of my being. Please don't give up on yourselves. You have so much more to do. It is so close! You are so close! Sí se puede!
Yan Diego: I heckin worry about you sometimes, you piece of shit. Thanks for not being an asshole to me 100% of the time and also I think you're super talented and amazing and I brag about you every chance I get oops.
Javi: Dude you need to stop growing, it's kinda gross. Also please move to this side of the planet. We miss you so much it hurts sometimes.
Natasha: Life works in mysterious ways and even though the leadup kinda sucked ass, I'm glad the universe brought you to live with us. It's been such a blessing having you around and I don't think we could have gotten through the past six months without you <3
Suki: Mi amor bella y preciosa! No te apures, que ya ahorita llegamos a verte!
Nutella: Sigue haciendo tu cosa, nena.
Cinnamon: I hope you are enjoying your many naps on Grandma's lap, sweet girl.
Phoenix Emilio Salem Cruz: Natasha knew immediately that she was gonna take you home. How could she not? You fluffy black ball of fur, you. You've turned her into the wackiest cat mom out there, good job ;)
Sansa Scout Westley Wilson: You crazy, possessed demon, how I love you. I can't wait to get back to Vermont so I can force you to love me (even though you already do <3)
Abuelo & Bianelly: Son mis ídolos y le pido a Dios que puedan mudarse a la Florida seguramente.
Abuela: Sé que no siempre te entiendo pero mi mayor deseo es que jamás dudes cuanto te amo. Eres tan amada. Más que crees.
Grandma & Grandpa: I miss you guys so much and am super ready to see you guys at YD's graduation. It's been too long.
The Wilson-Fishers: Ditto.
Tío John & Gaby: You guys inspire me every day.
Joel, Melissa, Luis, & Noah: I'm so happy you guys are in my life, you don't even know. We have to make up for lost time but that shouldn't take us long :) I love you ALL to infinity and beyond!!!
Pri & Ana: My oldest friends. Las quiero more than you'll ever know.
Newsies Yamily: You pulled me out of the void when I needed it most. I Never Planned on No One Like You.
CJ & Nat: You two are the best thing that ever came from Newsies. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life <3
My grown-up babes, Lauryn, Kelila, Soren, Riley, Megan, Jay, Emma, & Julia, and my even older babes, Amanda, Caellum, Fonts, Mike, Claire, Thom, Sophia, Brandt, Tiernan, & Maeve: Everything I am today is because of every single one of you. I am so proud of and so thankful to each of you. I love you I love you I love you.
Jessica: You lunatic. I am SO lucky Vassar decided to pair me with you. I can't imagine myself with any other roommate. You make living with another person so easy (seeing as we're basically the same person in all the horrible ways) and coming home to you at the end of the day makes my heart happy <3 Here's to another semester of corndog eating and wine sipping and cliche movie bashing.
Charlotte & Leila: I'M SO GLAD WE'RE HALL NEIGHBORS LIKE I'M VERY HAPPY YOUR ROOM IS TWO FEET AWAY FROM OURS AND THAT WE CAN GO ON FUN MIDNIGHT ADVENTURES TOGETHER WE MUST DO THAT MORE OFTEN KAY THANKS LOVE YOU
Miles, Garret, Robin, & Sarah: I couldn't ask for a sweeter group of hallmates. You guys have my back, always.
Gabby: MOMMMMMM you are truly the best mom and I am convinced we are the best fellow group. Case closed.
Chloe: Hey thanks for being the coolest drama mentor EVER ;) I'm amazed at how you and I are so alike and how it's taken us this long to notice. I appreciate every moment I have with you, babe.
Linnea: You're a nut and I love you way more than eleven goat. More like eleven alpaca, cuz I feel like alpacas could kick a goat's ass.
The other Beats Suite members, Martin, Juliana, Ranza, Graham (& Jack): Thanks for letting me invade your space and for letting me love you unconditionally even though you sometimes have entire conversations with sounds and not real words and it makes me want to rip my head off :)
The Martins: Thanks for adopting me and for babysitting Saoirse and Soraya for me while I'm away <3
Evan: 'Sup loser. Thanks for picking me up from dates I don't want to be at and for bringing me food and watching drug-related shows with me and for not getting killed in Jiu-Jitsu.
Tessa: My dearest Tessa, you absolute goofball, I am so happy to know you and to be in your life. I look forward to so many more late-night chats and Saturday brunches. We'll have a grand old time.
Madison: Oh dear god, I couldn't be happier to know we're in Owls together at the same time in this universe. I couldn't bear missing a single one of your snarky remarks or witty banter. Keep unpacking, the world needs more of that.
Emma: Owls couldn't have ended up with a better pitch. You lead with such compassion and hard work and care. You help us all create seriously beautiful music and still manage to keep us laughing. We are all thankful for you, babe.
Sam: My darling Sammy, no one in this entire world has a heart bigger than yours. Whether you know it or not, you've brightened so many lives with your smile and your dino and your kind words. Please don't ever leave my life; I'd be lost without you.
Sabrina: Thank you for living your best, powerful life every second of every day. I have no doubt in my mind that you would do anything for any of your fellow owls—your loyalty is truly admirable. You are the living definition of Big Dick Energy. Also please connect me to the gay world I'm so scared kay thanks <3
Ariana: You are quite frankly (and I do not say this lightly) the FUNNIEST person I have ever met. Whether you mean to or not, your timing is always impeccable and I've had to stop myself from peeing at your jokes on several occasions. Also, you are so sweet and the Peace Corps are SO lucky to have you.
Maisha: First off, goddess. Second of all, marry me. Thirdly, you are truly one of the kindest, most genuine humans I have ever had the privilege of meeting. That, and you've got a voice of pure velvet. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Elena: You absolute ray of sunshine! How I've missed you! I am beyond thrilled to have you back next semester because that means we'll all get to experience your radiant aura and the joy it brings.
Helen: I am so proud of you. Truly, you've been through some shit and yet you continue to wake up each morning and absolutely glow. Can't wait to have you back in the nest :)
Alexa: Hey lovely! I know we haven't spent much time together yet but I am SO excited to get to know you better and sing sweet, sweet music with you!
Gracie: I aspire to one day be as carefree, self-assured and talented as you are. Thanks for being a goof and 100% yourself at all times. It does not go unappreciated.
Alexandra: Hi hello I'm quite convinced you are an ethereal being not remotely from this world and you're posing as a down to earth, incredibly kind, witty human with the voice of a folky forest nymph. PS: You were the greatest Secret Snowflake ever! ILY <3
Delila: Laugh all you want but I've always been in awe of how poised and graceful and effortlessly cool you seem in every single situation. Also, ohmygod you're so weird.
Cameron: If Stevie Nicks ever had a daughter, she'd be you. You absolutely blow me away.
Eloise: You wild Aussie, you. I'm so hyped I get to spend the next four years singing with you, love!
Derek: Another year with you as my friend :)
Luke, Kota, Ben & Jared: I've learned so much from you.
Paul O'Connor: I'm in love with you, didn't you know? But also, I'm sure your girlfriend is delightful so don't mind me.
Greta Thunberg: You are so powerful. Thank you for being the voice many others don't have.
Zendaya: We've been here before. Hi, I'm your future wife.
Hunter Schafer: My newest, queerest obsession. Everything about you. I love you so much.
Eva Noblezada: No one has ever drawn me in so quickly.
Lauren, Maria, Emma, TingTing, Darya, Gibi, Sarah, Grace, Mads, Erin, Chiara, Abby, Bekah, Jojo, & Caroline: My sweet angels of sleep, how I love you.
The Weinreichs: The things you've done for my family I could never repay.
Madrina: I could not afford my school books otherwise. I miss you all so very much.
Barbara: Thank you for keeping my head intact.
Titi: I see you everywhere. Thank you for not disappearing on me. Te quiero.
I am so blessed.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
You know how this goes.
Mami & Papi: Change is inevitable. We are always growing, always learning, always evolving. It is not easy. I am proud of you. I love you both. With every fiber of my being. Please don't give up on yourselves. You have so much more to do. It is so close! You are so close! Sí se puede!
Yan Diego: I heckin worry about you sometimes, you piece of shit. Thanks for not being an asshole to me 100% of the time and also I think you're super talented and amazing and I brag about you every chance I get oops.
Javi: Dude you need to stop growing, it's kinda gross. Also please move to this side of the planet. We miss you so much it hurts sometimes.
Natasha: Life works in mysterious ways and even though the leadup kinda sucked ass, I'm glad the universe brought you to live with us. It's been such a blessing having you around and I don't think we could have gotten through the past six months without you <3
Suki: Mi amor bella y preciosa! No te apures, que ya ahorita llegamos a verte!
Nutella: Sigue haciendo tu cosa, nena.
Cinnamon: I hope you are enjoying your many naps on Grandma's lap, sweet girl.
Phoenix Emilio Salem Cruz: Natasha knew immediately that she was gonna take you home. How could she not? You fluffy black ball of fur, you. You've turned her into the wackiest cat mom out there, good job ;)
Sansa Scout Westley Wilson: You crazy, possessed demon, how I love you. I can't wait to get back to Vermont so I can force you to love me (even though you already do <3)
Abuelo & Bianelly: Son mis ídolos y le pido a Dios que puedan mudarse a la Florida seguramente.
Abuela: Sé que no siempre te entiendo pero mi mayor deseo es que jamás dudes cuanto te amo. Eres tan amada. Más que crees.
Grandma & Grandpa: I miss you guys so much and am super ready to see you guys at YD's graduation. It's been too long.
The Wilson-Fishers: Ditto.
Tío John & Gaby: You guys inspire me every day.
Joel, Melissa, Luis, & Noah: I'm so happy you guys are in my life, you don't even know. We have to make up for lost time but that shouldn't take us long :) I love you ALL to infinity and beyond!!!
Pri & Ana: My oldest friends. Las quiero more than you'll ever know.
Newsies Yamily: You pulled me out of the void when I needed it most. I Never Planned on No One Like You.
CJ & Nat: You two are the best thing that ever came from Newsies. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life <3
My grown-up babes, Lauryn, Kelila, Soren, Riley, Megan, Jay, Emma, & Julia, and my even older babes, Amanda, Caellum, Fonts, Mike, Claire, Thom, Sophia, Brandt, Tiernan, & Maeve: Everything I am today is because of every single one of you. I am so proud of and so thankful to each of you. I love you I love you I love you.
Jessica: You lunatic. I am SO lucky Vassar decided to pair me with you. I can't imagine myself with any other roommate. You make living with another person so easy (seeing as we're basically the same person in all the horrible ways) and coming home to you at the end of the day makes my heart happy <3 Here's to another semester of corndog eating and wine sipping and cliche movie bashing.
Charlotte & Leila: I'M SO GLAD WE'RE HALL NEIGHBORS LIKE I'M VERY HAPPY YOUR ROOM IS TWO FEET AWAY FROM OURS AND THAT WE CAN GO ON FUN MIDNIGHT ADVENTURES TOGETHER WE MUST DO THAT MORE OFTEN KAY THANKS LOVE YOU
Miles, Garret, Robin, & Sarah: I couldn't ask for a sweeter group of hallmates. You guys have my back, always.
Gabby: MOMMMMMM you are truly the best mom and I am convinced we are the best fellow group. Case closed.
Chloe: Hey thanks for being the coolest drama mentor EVER ;) I'm amazed at how you and I are so alike and how it's taken us this long to notice. I appreciate every moment I have with you, babe.
Linnea: You're a nut and I love you way more than eleven goat. More like eleven alpaca, cuz I feel like alpacas could kick a goat's ass.
The other Beats Suite members, Martin, Juliana, Ranza, Graham (& Jack): Thanks for letting me invade your space and for letting me love you unconditionally even though you sometimes have entire conversations with sounds and not real words and it makes me want to rip my head off :)
The Martins: Thanks for adopting me and for babysitting Saoirse and Soraya for me while I'm away <3
Evan: 'Sup loser. Thanks for picking me up from dates I don't want to be at and for bringing me food and watching drug-related shows with me and for not getting killed in Jiu-Jitsu.
Tessa: My dearest Tessa, you absolute goofball, I am so happy to know you and to be in your life. I look forward to so many more late-night chats and Saturday brunches. We'll have a grand old time.
Madison: Oh dear god, I couldn't be happier to know we're in Owls together at the same time in this universe. I couldn't bear missing a single one of your snarky remarks or witty banter. Keep unpacking, the world needs more of that.
Emma: Owls couldn't have ended up with a better pitch. You lead with such compassion and hard work and care. You help us all create seriously beautiful music and still manage to keep us laughing. We are all thankful for you, babe.
Sam: My darling Sammy, no one in this entire world has a heart bigger than yours. Whether you know it or not, you've brightened so many lives with your smile and your dino and your kind words. Please don't ever leave my life; I'd be lost without you.
Sabrina: Thank you for living your best, powerful life every second of every day. I have no doubt in my mind that you would do anything for any of your fellow owls—your loyalty is truly admirable. You are the living definition of Big Dick Energy. Also please connect me to the gay world I'm so scared kay thanks <3
Ariana: You are quite frankly (and I do not say this lightly) the FUNNIEST person I have ever met. Whether you mean to or not, your timing is always impeccable and I've had to stop myself from peeing at your jokes on several occasions. Also, you are so sweet and the Peace Corps are SO lucky to have you.
Maisha: First off, goddess. Second of all, marry me. Thirdly, you are truly one of the kindest, most genuine humans I have ever had the privilege of meeting. That, and you've got a voice of pure velvet. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Elena: You absolute ray of sunshine! How I've missed you! I am beyond thrilled to have you back next semester because that means we'll all get to experience your radiant aura and the joy it brings.
Helen: I am so proud of you. Truly, you've been through some shit and yet you continue to wake up each morning and absolutely glow. Can't wait to have you back in the nest :)
Alexa: Hey lovely! I know we haven't spent much time together yet but I am SO excited to get to know you better and sing sweet, sweet music with you!
Gracie: I aspire to one day be as carefree, self-assured and talented as you are. Thanks for being a goof and 100% yourself at all times. It does not go unappreciated.
Alexandra: Hi hello I'm quite convinced you are an ethereal being not remotely from this world and you're posing as a down to earth, incredibly kind, witty human with the voice of a folky forest nymph. PS: You were the greatest Secret Snowflake ever! ILY <3
Delila: Laugh all you want but I've always been in awe of how poised and graceful and effortlessly cool you seem in every single situation. Also, ohmygod you're so weird.
Cameron: If Stevie Nicks ever had a daughter, she'd be you. You absolutely blow me away.
Eloise: You wild Aussie, you. I'm so hyped I get to spend the next four years singing with you, love!
Derek: Another year with you as my friend :)
Luke, Kota, Ben & Jared: I've learned so much from you.
Paul O'Connor: I'm in love with you, didn't you know? But also, I'm sure your girlfriend is delightful so don't mind me.
Greta Thunberg: You are so powerful. Thank you for being the voice many others don't have.
Zendaya: We've been here before. Hi, I'm your future wife.
Hunter Schafer: My newest, queerest obsession. Everything about you. I love you so much.
Eva Noblezada: No one has ever drawn me in so quickly.
Lauren, Maria, Emma, TingTing, Darya, Gibi, Sarah, Grace, Mads, Erin, Chiara, Abby, Bekah, Jojo, & Caroline: My sweet angels of sleep, how I love you.
The Weinreichs: The things you've done for my family I could never repay.
Madrina: I could not afford my school books otherwise. I miss you all so very much.
Barbara: Thank you for keeping my head intact.
Titi: I see you everywhere. Thank you for not disappearing on me. Te quiero.
I am so blessed.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Sunday, December 1, 2019
Productivity Levels These Days, Amirite?
Hello hi hello so y'all can ignore this post it's sorta more of a word vomit thing for me to feel like I did something like I accomplished something during this holiday weekend because otherwise I'm gonna start being self-deprecating and shit and it's gonna be real ugly and not fun so I decided I would list shit off that I did so I feel like a productive human being because sometimes I only feel valuable when I am useful yafeel so anyhow here goes
I handmade eleven holiday cards with all my artsy arts and crafts things
I single-handedly bought the food ingredients we needed in order to make thanksgiving happen with my own damn money
I made banana bread muffins for said thanksgiving feast and didn't burn them even a little bit
I wrote my first turkey day post and submitted it for y'all to see
I watched The Sword and the Stone solely because my brother requested to watch it and even when everyone else abandoned the movie I stayed
I watched Captain Marvel with my dad even tho I'd already seen it because he hadn't seen it and I wanted to know his reactions
I socialized with my cousins Max and Ali when they came over to visit on the holiday
I ran the dishwasher twice and unloaded it twice and made sure the kitchen sink wasn't gross or gunky I left it fully clean
I helped YD efficiently pack all the things he needed to bring back to school because he's useless at packing but also I live to feel useful to people so
I accompanied my dad to get his paycheck deposited and then helped him pick out stuff for YD to get clothing-wise because YD hardly ever ever ever gets new clothes and he was in need of them and the things we got were nice and I am happy to see him happy and I'm happy to see my dad happy because he made my brother happy idk it's just nice
I also got new running shoes for the first time since I was twelve and I'm really excited about not slipping around on the ground anymore since my new sneaks have grips on the bottom unlike my old ones
I helped acquire snacks for all because I am organized and get things done quickly and efficiently
I accompanied Natasha for two hours while we dropped off YD at his bus station so he could get back to school and we went to see a museum for a little bit and got to the station with plenty of time so YD could pick a seat he actually wanted and it was nice and we were glad he go there safe
I ran errands for my dad and picked up house supplies
I made myself and Natasha taquitos when there was nothing else to be had and they were delicious
I made YD a peanut butter and raspberry jam sandwich with a side of clementine and a glass of milk because he hadn't eaten anything all day
I played and snuggled and cuddled with Phoenix and Scout for hours and hours because I want them to know that I love them like I want them to really really know know that I love love love them with all my heart my whole entire being would do anything for those two
I provided people with alcohol and stories and passwords and so I felt useful again which was nice
I listened to a ton of new ASMR to go to sleep
I unpacked all the clothes I wanted to leave in VT and I put away the giving away items and I did my laundry and folded my laundry
I dreamt about a wedding
I showered and did a painful facemask and moisturized
I packed away all the things I needed to bring back to school
I slept when I needed sleeping and I woke when I needed waking
I hope getting that off my chest feels better soon I really do
In the meantime ciao los amo los quiero pórtense bien y todo eso dulces sueños muah
I handmade eleven holiday cards with all my artsy arts and crafts things
I single-handedly bought the food ingredients we needed in order to make thanksgiving happen with my own damn money
I made banana bread muffins for said thanksgiving feast and didn't burn them even a little bit
I wrote my first turkey day post and submitted it for y'all to see
I watched The Sword and the Stone solely because my brother requested to watch it and even when everyone else abandoned the movie I stayed
I watched Captain Marvel with my dad even tho I'd already seen it because he hadn't seen it and I wanted to know his reactions
I socialized with my cousins Max and Ali when they came over to visit on the holiday
I ran the dishwasher twice and unloaded it twice and made sure the kitchen sink wasn't gross or gunky I left it fully clean
I helped YD efficiently pack all the things he needed to bring back to school because he's useless at packing but also I live to feel useful to people so
I accompanied my dad to get his paycheck deposited and then helped him pick out stuff for YD to get clothing-wise because YD hardly ever ever ever gets new clothes and he was in need of them and the things we got were nice and I am happy to see him happy and I'm happy to see my dad happy because he made my brother happy idk it's just nice
I also got new running shoes for the first time since I was twelve and I'm really excited about not slipping around on the ground anymore since my new sneaks have grips on the bottom unlike my old ones
I helped acquire snacks for all because I am organized and get things done quickly and efficiently
I accompanied Natasha for two hours while we dropped off YD at his bus station so he could get back to school and we went to see a museum for a little bit and got to the station with plenty of time so YD could pick a seat he actually wanted and it was nice and we were glad he go there safe
I ran errands for my dad and picked up house supplies
I made myself and Natasha taquitos when there was nothing else to be had and they were delicious
I made YD a peanut butter and raspberry jam sandwich with a side of clementine and a glass of milk because he hadn't eaten anything all day
I played and snuggled and cuddled with Phoenix and Scout for hours and hours because I want them to know that I love them like I want them to really really know know that I love love love them with all my heart my whole entire being would do anything for those two
I provided people with alcohol and stories and passwords and so I felt useful again which was nice
I listened to a ton of new ASMR to go to sleep
I unpacked all the clothes I wanted to leave in VT and I put away the giving away items and I did my laundry and folded my laundry
I dreamt about a wedding
I showered and did a painful facemask and moisturized
I packed away all the things I needed to bring back to school
I slept when I needed sleeping and I woke when I needed waking
I hope getting that off my chest feels better soon I really do
In the meantime ciao los amo los quiero pórtense bien y todo eso dulces sueños muah
Turkey Day List #1
Hello, my dudes. I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving (if you celebrate that type of thing) and I hope you can forgive me for not posting this three days ago—I was busy making some DELICIOUS banana bread muffins for my fam. Also, I was wine drunk so you can imagine...
Anyhow, here goes the age-old list you've all been waiting for:
Technology: You allow me to connect with those I'd otherwise have no means of reaching. Thank you.
Banana Bread Muffins: When the rest of the world was sour, you were sweet.
Wimpfheimer: You reignited my love for working with children and I am so lucky to work at such a beautiful place.
Saoirse the Succulent: My beautiful, darling girl. I'm sorry the windowsill gets so cold at night. I wish I could warm you up and keep you happy all the time.
Poe the Printer: The goodest boi there ever was. Our little hardworking man. Jessica and I are so proud of you, buddy.
Everest, Hobbes, Charlotte, Muffins, and Nox: Welcome to the club.
Jessica's supercool Fancy Lamp: I would have been knocked dead in the dark of night if it weren't for you. Plus, you're just kinda all around rad. Couldn't have asked for a better room lamp.
Raymond House: All Hail the Rat King.
Hallway 3 Cen: Thanks for putting up with drunken laughter and a cappella sing-ins and Halloween eggings. You're the real MVPs.
Beats Suite: My home away from 317. I am so glad I became an official suitemate. As stated on the wall of rules. It's a thing now.
Wimpfheimer: You reignited my love for working with children and I am so lucky to work at such a beautiful place.
Saoirse the Succulent: My beautiful, darling girl. I'm sorry the windowsill gets so cold at night. I wish I could warm you up and keep you happy all the time.
Poe the Printer: The goodest boi there ever was. Our little hardworking man. Jessica and I are so proud of you, buddy.
Everest, Hobbes, Charlotte, Muffins, and Nox: Welcome to the club.
Jessica's supercool Fancy Lamp: I would have been knocked dead in the dark of night if it weren't for you. Plus, you're just kinda all around rad. Couldn't have asked for a better room lamp.
Raymond House: All Hail the Rat King.
Hallway 3 Cen: Thanks for putting up with drunken laughter and a cappella sing-ins and Halloween eggings. You're the real MVPs.
Beats Suite: My home away from 317. I am so glad I became an official suitemate. As stated on the wall of rules. It's a thing now.
Disney+: Where have you been my whole entire life? Every single episode of Suite Life? Yes, please.
The Deece's Late Night Corndogs: Truly, I am convinced you're injected with hallucinogens or some other weird shit. Why else would Jessica and I lose our fucking minds so frequently?
The Library's 24 hour Section: Bro, you've seen some shit. Let's keep that between ourselves, shall we?
The Library's 24 hour Section: Bro, you've seen some shit. Let's keep that between ourselves, shall we?
Baldwin: Horrific as you are at times, you've helped me through days I didn't think I could step out of bed, so thank you. Really.
Express: For feeding me speedily when I would otherwise have skipped a meal.
Express: For feeding me speedily when I would otherwise have skipped a meal.
Drama 102: Odd and strange and wack and awkward and uncomfortable and wild as this class gets, I'm really thankful for the journey and the creative mind it has made out of me.
Dynamic Women: All the snaps. Too many snaps. This class slaps.
Conditioning Class: Tough as this semester has been, it always felt great to sweat and melt the stress away.
Pell Grants: Thanks for helping ya girl out.
Zoloft: Ditto.
Laser pointers: For providing endless entertainment to my two little monsters. You are a blessing.
All 10 Seasons of Friends: My god, the headaches I endured for you... Were you worth it? Probably not, but you made me pretty damn content most of the time and for that, I can appreciate you.
Potterless Podcast: My one daily indulgence that never fails to make me laugh. If y'all enjoy dumb HP trivia and puns as much as I do, go check it out.
His Dark Materials: I have a new addiction?
Euphoria: Zendaya and Hunter—you have my whole entire heart.
Pinterest: For housing all future hopes and dreams.
Lin's Gmorning, Gnight: You pulled me out of the scariest 24 hours of my life (with the help of my precious Linnea) and brought comfort when I didn't think there was any left in the world. Thank you.
Midnight walks through the Fog: You know why.
I know holidays can be tough but hey! You made it past this one alive! I'm so proud of you!
Stay oh-so-super-warm and accept my love in the chilly days to come.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
I know holidays can be tough but hey! You made it past this one alive! I'm so proud of you!
Stay oh-so-super-warm and accept my love in the chilly days to come.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Thursday, November 14, 2019
The Longest I've Ever Stayed
I've been meaning to post this for a hella long time but I got caught up in things. oops...
As of last week, it would have been exactly two years since I left Vassar. So, technically speaking, this is the longest I've stayed at college ever. Like ever ever. And I dunno, I'm pretty proud of that :)
We're already more than halfway through the semester so I have quite a bit to catch you up on (I promise I'll try to be as brief as I can possibly stand.)
First, maybe I'll introduce you to some people:
Jessica is my roommate. My crazy, demented, neurotic, hilarious, brilliant, talented, kindhearted roommate. Living with her is such a blessing. I seriously could not pick two more opposite people in terms of interests, but holy shit do our living habits coincide. Some highlights of our roommate arrangement: the time Jessica spent 45 minutes recounting the entire plot of Shrek to us; the time Jessica baked two entire pies from scratch for our fellow group; the time I lit a candle that made our room smell like heaven on earth; the time we taught Garret how to put on a bra; the time Jessica got us both pumpkins and we named them Linus and Jackie (short for Ja-que-line); the time we both got high off of eating too many corn dogs and proceeded to cry-laugh for two straight hours; the time we accidentally almost watched porn in the Deece; the time we got caught up in gang shit; the time we both were avoiding contact with a certain boy; the time JESSICA BROUGHT BACK A RICE COOKER (now we can make rice in our room anytime we want woohoo). Anyway, you get the picture.
Gabby is our student fellow (at Vassar, they're basically our RA's except they can't get us into trouble, they're just there to look out for us and be our mentors and such). Gabby is a riot and a half. Beautiful, hilarious, loving, talented, avocado-bearing mother. She's been such a great help and is always such a joy to see around. Much love mom!!! xoxo
Our hallmates (otherwise known as our fellow group) are Charlotte, Leila, Garret, Miles, Robin, and Sara. Every single one of them is so wonderfully unique and silly in their own way. Jessica and I truly lucked out. These peeps are simply the greatest. (To prove to you how freaking much we love each other, we've decided entirely by our own free will that we want to have group dinners on Saturday nights).
Then we've got our newest Owl babies!!! Our nest was joined this year by Madison (love of my life), Eloise (witty queen), and Cameron (genuine goddess). The three of them have been such a lovely addition to the group and their voices are so gorgeous they make me *cry*
Of course, I've still been seeing a lot of Linnea and Evan though it's almost as if we're living in different hemispheres half the time. Schedules are some total bullshit. (I love that I've become an honorary member of the Beats suite—where Linnea lives with Juliana and Martin—because I get full access to a WHOLE ASS PUPPER AND HAMSTER!)
Speaking of schedules tho, I've had a pretty rad semester. Like, luck doesn't even cut it when it comes to how amazing my schedule turned out. I'm taking all classes I ADORE. Among them, I get to go to the gym and get credit, I get to learn special behind the scenes effects that go into theatre, I get to put on mini play productions every single week, I get to work my ass off learning music theory, and I get to ramble to my heart's content about intersectional feminism in Latin America. I could not be more hecking blessed.
My advisor Maria is in the History department (lmao) but she has been such a great help to me in figuring out what I want to do and which paths I'd like to take. Alongside her, I have to credit MaryJo (the head of the educational opportunity and accessibility office) who kept me from drowning underwater and to my therapist Barbara for keeping me afloat. Without them, I'd be so fucking lost. Like, without a doubt.
Oh! And guess what else? I love my job! For work-study, I work at the local nursery school and it is truly the most fun, rewarding, exhausting job I have ever had. I am so lucky to be there and to be learning from some of the most devoted and brilliant teachers in the school.
I should 100% be asleep right now so I'm gonna try to wrap this up yikes
Overall, I am having one hell of a good time. All the things that could possibly have gone right for me this time, have. I'm not trying to jinx it or anything, but I dunno. This time around feels different. I feel so much more ready for college and everything ahead of me than ever before. I'm excited about what I'm doing, I'm excited about where I'm going. Things are finally looking up. Despite all the difficult things and everyday obstacles, I am finally capable of slaying the hell out of them. Before I know it, it'll be the end of this semester and we'll be reaching into the next one.
And once more, since I should very much be asleep right now, Carpe Noctum.
Hasta la próxima!
Much love xoxo
Maya
As of last week, it would have been exactly two years since I left Vassar. So, technically speaking, this is the longest I've stayed at college ever. Like ever ever. And I dunno, I'm pretty proud of that :)
We're already more than halfway through the semester so I have quite a bit to catch you up on (I promise I'll try to be as brief as I can possibly stand.)
First, maybe I'll introduce you to some people:
Jessica is my roommate. My crazy, demented, neurotic, hilarious, brilliant, talented, kindhearted roommate. Living with her is such a blessing. I seriously could not pick two more opposite people in terms of interests, but holy shit do our living habits coincide. Some highlights of our roommate arrangement: the time Jessica spent 45 minutes recounting the entire plot of Shrek to us; the time Jessica baked two entire pies from scratch for our fellow group; the time I lit a candle that made our room smell like heaven on earth; the time we taught Garret how to put on a bra; the time Jessica got us both pumpkins and we named them Linus and Jackie (short for Ja-que-line); the time we both got high off of eating too many corn dogs and proceeded to cry-laugh for two straight hours; the time we accidentally almost watched porn in the Deece; the time we got caught up in gang shit; the time we both were avoiding contact with a certain boy; the time JESSICA BROUGHT BACK A RICE COOKER (now we can make rice in our room anytime we want woohoo). Anyway, you get the picture.
Gabby is our student fellow (at Vassar, they're basically our RA's except they can't get us into trouble, they're just there to look out for us and be our mentors and such). Gabby is a riot and a half. Beautiful, hilarious, loving, talented, avocado-bearing mother. She's been such a great help and is always such a joy to see around. Much love mom!!! xoxo
Our hallmates (otherwise known as our fellow group) are Charlotte, Leila, Garret, Miles, Robin, and Sara. Every single one of them is so wonderfully unique and silly in their own way. Jessica and I truly lucked out. These peeps are simply the greatest. (To prove to you how freaking much we love each other, we've decided entirely by our own free will that we want to have group dinners on Saturday nights).
Then we've got our newest Owl babies!!! Our nest was joined this year by Madison (love of my life), Eloise (witty queen), and Cameron (genuine goddess). The three of them have been such a lovely addition to the group and their voices are so gorgeous they make me *cry*
Of course, I've still been seeing a lot of Linnea and Evan though it's almost as if we're living in different hemispheres half the time. Schedules are some total bullshit. (I love that I've become an honorary member of the Beats suite—where Linnea lives with Juliana and Martin—because I get full access to a WHOLE ASS PUPPER AND HAMSTER!)
Speaking of schedules tho, I've had a pretty rad semester. Like, luck doesn't even cut it when it comes to how amazing my schedule turned out. I'm taking all classes I ADORE. Among them, I get to go to the gym and get credit, I get to learn special behind the scenes effects that go into theatre, I get to put on mini play productions every single week, I get to work my ass off learning music theory, and I get to ramble to my heart's content about intersectional feminism in Latin America. I could not be more hecking blessed.
My advisor Maria is in the History department (lmao) but she has been such a great help to me in figuring out what I want to do and which paths I'd like to take. Alongside her, I have to credit MaryJo (the head of the educational opportunity and accessibility office) who kept me from drowning underwater and to my therapist Barbara for keeping me afloat. Without them, I'd be so fucking lost. Like, without a doubt.
Oh! And guess what else? I love my job! For work-study, I work at the local nursery school and it is truly the most fun, rewarding, exhausting job I have ever had. I am so lucky to be there and to be learning from some of the most devoted and brilliant teachers in the school.
I should 100% be asleep right now so I'm gonna try to wrap this up yikes
Overall, I am having one hell of a good time. All the things that could possibly have gone right for me this time, have. I'm not trying to jinx it or anything, but I dunno. This time around feels different. I feel so much more ready for college and everything ahead of me than ever before. I'm excited about what I'm doing, I'm excited about where I'm going. Things are finally looking up. Despite all the difficult things and everyday obstacles, I am finally capable of slaying the hell out of them. Before I know it, it'll be the end of this semester and we'll be reaching into the next one.
And once more, since I should very much be asleep right now, Carpe Noctum.
Hasta la próxima!
Much love xoxo
Maya
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