Shambles & Rambles

Hi friends.

It's currently 10pm on a Saturday night and I am writing this post since I finally have the time. I put the kids to bed two hours ago (not mine, relax) and finished cleaning up the dishes and wiping down the messy pizza counter.

Babysitting on a Saturday night the weekend before spring break isn't exactly the way I saw my plans going, but hey, the kids are adorable AND I get paid. We could all use a little more cash money.

Tomorrow will be the first of March and this next Friday I will be turning twenty years old.

Twenty, man. Two zero. That's fucking nuts.

Needless to say, I'm a little brain-scrambled considering this is my last full week as a teenager. God, even writing that makes me want to puke. I know life is all about living in the present and not dwelling on the past and enjoying every moment blablabla but it's terrifying to think twenty whole years of my life will have gone by.

On the one hand, I'm impressed. Not too long ago, Maya thought she wouldn't make it past eighteen. And here she is completing two decades of life. Wild. On the other hand, what the hell does one do when they're twenty? Do you magically learn how to file taxes? Do you take out a mortgage? Are you stuck with the same job for years or are you stuck in your parent's apartment for eternity? I know nobody ever really has it all figured out but like, I don't even know how to drive yet. Most kids my little brother's age are learning how to drive and sometimes I just feel kinda inadequate. Eh, I'll learn eventually.

February was kind of a trash month for everyone I know. Mercury in retrograde or whatever. Bad juju in the air. Fukú and whatnot. Anyhow, I'm hoping that since February has come to an end, March will provide a clean slate and restore balance to us all. It had better for me at least. It's my birthday month, after all.

Second week of break, the Owls and I are headed on tour to Chicago which will definitely merit a whole post of its own. I haven't been there since I was ten years old, man. It's been a while.

After coming back from break, we'll only have six weeks of school left. That's it. Six weeks and I will have finished my first whole year of college. Another feat I never thought I'd get to see. Then summer, then sophomore year. Insane.

I'm a little nervous because I don't have any summer jobs lined up yet for a number of reasons but I'm hopeful I'll make something work. I'm likeable and skilled enough, I suppose.

The room I'm currently sat in is freezing yet surprisingly cozy. I just wish I could smuggle a blanket in somewhere...

I know I talk about this a fuckton but I just have so many projects I want to work on and create. I just have to find the energy and motivation from somewhere first. It's getting there. At least I forced myself to write this post. Forcing myself to write at least makes me feel like I'm doing something.

In any case, my friends are wonderful and I love them so incredibly much because they put up with me even when I'm trash and am a little shit :) Y'all are the best, babes :*

There was no real point to this post other than explaining that I've had a pretty long four weeks and I'm looking forward to the next four. Yeah. I think that's it.

Hasta la próxima,

Much love xoxo

Maya

P.S: MY PHONE CAMERA STARTED WORKING AGAIN AND I AM OVER THE MOON ABOUT IT I JUST KEEP TAKING PICTURES OF RANDOM SHIT YALL IT'S GREAT

Turkey Day List #2

Quick lil note: I am the worst at turning things in on time, even things like this. So bear with me pls. Pretend I posted this a whole month ago, cool thanks.

You know how this goes.

Mami & Papi: Change is inevitable. We are always growing, always learning, always evolving. It is not easy. I am proud of you. I love you both. With every fiber of my being. Please don't give up on yourselves. You have so much more to do. It is so close! You are so close! Sí se puede!

Yan Diego: I heckin worry about you sometimes, you piece of shit. Thanks for not being an asshole to me 100% of the time and also I think you're super talented and amazing and I brag about you every chance I get oops.

Javi: Dude you need to stop growing, it's kinda gross. Also please move to this side of the planet. We miss you so much it hurts sometimes.

Natasha: Life works in mysterious ways and even though the leadup kinda sucked ass, I'm glad the universe brought you to live with us. It's been such a blessing having you around and I don't think we could have gotten through the past six months without you <3

Suki: Mi amor bella y preciosa! No te apures, que ya ahorita llegamos a verte!

Nutella: Sigue haciendo tu cosa, nena.

Cinnamon: I hope you are enjoying your many naps on Grandma's lap, sweet girl.

Phoenix Emilio Salem Cruz: Natasha knew immediately that she was gonna take you home. How could she not? You fluffy black ball of fur, you. You've turned her into the wackiest cat mom out there, good job ;)

Sansa Scout Westley Wilson: You crazy, possessed demon, how I love you. I can't wait to get back to Vermont so I can force you to love me (even though you already do <3)

Abuelo & Bianelly: Son mis ídolos y le pido a Dios que puedan mudarse a la Florida seguramente.

Abuela: Sé que no siempre te entiendo pero mi mayor deseo es que jamás dudes cuanto te amo. Eres tan amada. Más que crees.

Grandma & Grandpa: I miss you guys so much and am super ready to see you guys at YD's graduation. It's been too long.

The Wilson-Fishers: Ditto.

Tío John & Gaby: You guys inspire me every day.

Joel, Melissa, Luis, & Noah: I'm so happy you guys are in my life, you don't even know. We have to make up for lost time but that shouldn't take us long :) I love you ALL to infinity and beyond!!!

Pri & Ana: My oldest friends. Las quiero more than you'll ever know.

Newsies Yamily: You pulled me out of the void when I needed it most. I Never Planned on No One Like You.

CJ & Nat: You two are the best thing that ever came from Newsies. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life <3

My grown-up babes, Lauryn, Kelila, Soren, Riley, Megan, Jay, Emma, & Julia, and my even older babes, Amanda, Caellum, Fonts, Mike, Claire, Thom, Sophia, Brandt, Tiernan, & Maeve: Everything I am today is because of every single one of you. I am so proud of and so thankful to each of you. I love you I love you I love you.

Jessica: You lunatic. I am SO lucky Vassar decided to pair me with you. I can't imagine myself with any other roommate. You make living with another person so easy (seeing as we're basically the same person in all the horrible ways) and coming home to you at the end of the day makes my heart happy <3 Here's to another semester of corndog eating and wine sipping and cliche movie bashing.

Charlotte & Leila: I'M SO GLAD WE'RE HALL NEIGHBORS LIKE I'M VERY HAPPY YOUR ROOM IS TWO FEET AWAY FROM OURS AND THAT WE CAN GO ON FUN MIDNIGHT ADVENTURES TOGETHER WE MUST DO THAT MORE OFTEN KAY THANKS LOVE YOU

Miles, Garret, Robin, & Sarah: I couldn't ask for a sweeter group of hallmates. You guys have my back, always.

Gabby: MOMMMMMM you are truly the best mom and I am convinced we are the best fellow group. Case closed.

Chloe: Hey thanks for being the coolest drama mentor EVER ;) I'm amazed at how you and I are so alike and how it's taken us this long to notice. I appreciate every moment I have with you, babe.

Linnea: You're a nut and I love you way more than eleven goat. More like eleven alpaca, cuz I feel like alpacas could kick a goat's ass.

The other Beats Suite members, Martin, Juliana, Ranza, Graham (& Jack): Thanks for letting me invade your space and for letting me love you unconditionally even though you sometimes have entire conversations with sounds and not real words and it makes me want to rip my head off :)

The Martins: Thanks for adopting me and for babysitting Saoirse and Soraya for me while I'm away <3

Evan: 'Sup loser. Thanks for picking me up from dates I don't want to be at and for bringing me food and watching drug-related shows with me and for not getting killed in Jiu-Jitsu.

Tessa: My dearest Tessa, you absolute goofball, I am so happy to know you and to be in your life. I look forward to so many more late-night chats and Saturday brunches. We'll have a grand old time.

Madison: Oh dear god, I couldn't be happier to know we're in Owls together at the same time in this universe. I couldn't bear missing a single one of your snarky remarks or witty banter. Keep unpacking, the world needs more of that.

Emma: Owls couldn't have ended up with a better pitch. You lead with such compassion and hard work and care. You help us all create seriously beautiful music and still manage to keep us laughing. We are all thankful for you, babe.

Sam: My darling Sammy, no one in this entire world has a heart bigger than yours. Whether you know it or not, you've brightened so many lives with your smile and your dino and your kind words. Please don't ever leave my life; I'd be lost without you.

Sabrina: Thank you for living your best, powerful life every second of every day. I have no doubt in my mind that you would do anything for any of your fellow owls—your loyalty is truly admirable. You are the living definition of Big Dick Energy. Also please connect me to the gay world I'm so scared kay thanks <3

Ariana: You are quite frankly (and I do not say this lightly) the FUNNIEST person I have ever met. Whether you mean to or not, your timing is always impeccable and I've had to stop myself from peeing at your jokes on several occasions. Also, you are so sweet and the Peace Corps are SO lucky to have you.

Maisha: First off, goddess. Second of all, marry me. Thirdly, you are truly one of the kindest, most genuine humans I have ever had the privilege of meeting. That, and you've got a voice of pure velvet. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Elena: You absolute ray of sunshine! How I've missed you! I am beyond thrilled to have you back next semester because that means we'll all get to experience your radiant aura and the joy it brings.

Helen: I am so proud of you. Truly, you've been through some shit and yet you continue to wake up each morning and absolutely glow. Can't wait to have you back in the nest :)

Alexa: Hey lovely! I know we haven't spent much time together yet but I am SO excited to get to know you better and sing sweet, sweet music with you!

Gracie: I aspire to one day be as carefree, self-assured and talented as you are. Thanks for being a goof and 100% yourself at all times. It does not go unappreciated.

Alexandra: Hi hello I'm quite convinced you are an ethereal being not remotely from this world and you're posing as a down to earth, incredibly kind, witty human with the voice of a folky forest nymph. PS: You were the greatest Secret Snowflake ever! ILY <3

Delila: Laugh all you want but I've always been in awe of how poised and graceful and effortlessly cool you seem in every single situation. Also, ohmygod you're so weird.

Cameron: If Stevie Nicks ever had a daughter, she'd be you. You absolutely blow me away.

Eloise: You wild Aussie, you. I'm so hyped I get to spend the next four years singing with you, love!

Derek: Another year with you as my friend :)

Luke, Kota, Ben & Jared: I've learned so much from you.

Paul O'Connor: I'm in love with you, didn't you know? But also, I'm sure your girlfriend is delightful so don't mind me.

Greta Thunberg: You are so powerful. Thank you for being the voice many others don't have.

Zendaya: We've been here before. Hi, I'm your future wife.

Hunter Schafer: My newest, queerest obsession. Everything about you. I love you so much.

Eva Noblezada: No one has ever drawn me in so quickly.

Lauren, Maria, Emma, TingTing, Darya, Gibi, Sarah, Grace, Mads, Erin, Chiara, Abby, Bekah, Jojo, & Caroline: My sweet angels of sleep, how I love you.

The Weinreichs: The things you've done for my family I could never repay.

Madrina: I could not afford my school books otherwise. I miss you all so very much.

Barbara: Thank you for keeping my head intact.

Titi: I see you everywhere. Thank you for not disappearing on me. Te quiero.

I am so blessed.

Hasta la próxima,

Much love xoxo

Maya

Here Are Some Things You Didn't Need

Evidently I am absolutely atrocious at keeping my word so.

Hello hi. I am still alive.

A great many random things are happening in my life at the moment. Among them:

• After MONTHS of waiting, I finally got my Vassar financial aid package and it ended up amounting to way more than I ever could have thought possible so I am VERY hyped.

• My cousin Natasha started living with us at the beginning of summer and it's been crazy weird to have somewhat of a pseudo older sister around all the time.

• After days/weeks of agonizing over dorms and roommates, I finally got my assignment last Thursday! Though initially bummed about my dorm, some dear friends of mine gave me hope and made me feel better about it.

• I've been babysitting practically nonstop the past few months and as much as I love it, HECK is it exhausting. I do love my kids tho. Very much so. My girls range from six months to eleven years old.

• I am the best sister ever and landed YD some quality paying gigs :)

• I pre-registered for fall semester classes a while back and I am itching to get my hands on my schedule because I wanna see if I got things I actually wanted.

• I forget if I mentioned but we're moving to Vermont??? Long story short, Tia Susan and Tio Bob got offered a wonderful position in Santa Cruz but don't wanna sell their VT house, so Papi is gonna take care of it for a couple of years (Natasha will for as long as she wants to stay there). YD and I will be going there during school breaks if nowhere else. Odd how the building that was never really our house is the closest feeling I have to home.

• Ali and Max will still be living at their own respective places in VT so I'll be happy happy happy to see them more often! :)

• I have made such a beautiful friend in Kota. They are such a bright, wonderful, loving soul. Funny how the universe blesses us in strange ways.

• I've become a tiny bit obsessive with lists and dorm decorating ideas? It's not that bad, I only have like 40 boards of it on Pinterest...

• In terms of moving to VT, Papi has wanted a lil baby kitty for quite some time now but wasn't given the opportunity to have one in New York. Fun fact––Tomorrow me, my dad, and the bros will be out and about searching for our forever kitty <3 I am BEYOND EXCITED!!!!!!

• I finally saw The Lion King in theaters with my fam and as shitty as its reviews were, I honestly liked it. Like, do I regret seeing it in theaters? No. Would I watch it again in theaters? No. For people expecting the same magic and nostalgia as the first one, this ain't it. For people expecting gorgeous artwork, outstanding vocals, and hilarious comedic improv, this hits all the marks. I told YD it sort of felt like a song cover but for a movie. Not a live-action remake, more of an HD hyper-realistic rendition of the artwork and not much messing around with anything else. For what it was, I enjoyed it. Watch it if only for the stunning art. Those artists deserve tons of credit.

• I also watched Avengers: Endgame sometime this summer and Spiderman: Far From Home. Let's just say ow my entire heart is in pain but it's fine. Everything's fine.

• Stranger Things season 3 came out after we waited FOREVER and I was not disappointed one bit. Like, some things coulda been different if I had my say but god bless those children I adore them.

• Sidenote, I'm super delirious right now and might be crashing pretty soon but I figured I should just write. Haven't done it in a while so it was time.

• My dear, sweet Cameron Boyce passed away at 20 and my heart ached for days. It still does. What joy he brought to my life. What joy he brought to the world. We will miss you every day of our lives. Rest easy, darling.

• I have so many things I could write about. I have so many things I should write about but my brain is a little heckin scrambled and it won't be worth trying to unjumble it right now.

• Packing is so wild. Like, I get in weird moods where I'll just do it for hours and hours and clean and organize and reorganize. I might have a problem.

• I'm so sleepy holy fuck

• My wife Megan got me hooked on the Irish show Derry Girls and season 2 just came out on Netflix I am so pumped.

• I still gotta jump on the Euphoria and Succession and Dear White People train. I'll get there. I just have tons of other things to start/finish first.

• There was a brief period of time recently where I was experiencing major medication withdrawal symptoms and let me tell you, I recommend that shit to exactly no one. Like. NADIE. Jesus fuck it was awful.

• Update: I am now also ravenous. Fuck me.

• I'm so excited to hoot with my Owls again and harass my twin Evan and hug my dear Linnea to death <3

• Making new memories is something I'm equally terrified and excited about. This needs to be a new chapter. A new page. A clean slate. I need a new beginning. I do I do I do.

I could probably go on but my eyes are closing and my stomach is gurgling so this is an adiós from me. But that sounds too final so this is more of a "Hablamos pronto. Cuídense. Los amo."

Hasta la próxima,

Much love xoxo

Maya

Turkey Day List #2

Hello my loves.

This list always proves difficult to write. Not because it's hard to come up with people I'm grateful for, but because it always ends with me getting rather emotional and... I dunno. Nostalgic, maybe? Either way, Thanksgiving posts have always been my favorite to write because I finally get to pay homage to the people and things that make everything infinitely better. I owe you my life.

Firstly to my angel, Titi Dorianny:

My dearest Titi... I dedicate the rest of my life to you. You are the single sweetest, funniest, smartest, humblest, most generous, most loving, most giving person I have ever known. That is no exaggeration. Though I'm still tortured by you leaving us so soon, your spirit survives in your husband's voice, in your son's eyes, in every latin song that comes on the radio; in knitted scarves and real smiles; galleticas de miel and blue skies. We will love you forever, as you have loved us. Te quiero, te adoro, te amo.

..........

Papi: It's always bizarre the moment you learn your parents aren't perfect. In this, though, I'm learning the act of forgiveness, and for that, I thank you. And for taking me in. And getting through this together.

Mami: I love you. I hope you always know that. I hope someday we can be closer again.

YD: You're pretty dope. This year you called me one of your best friends and I will never let you live that down. Love ya, pal.

Javi: So apparently this is the year you became taller than me or something??? Sounds fake but ok...

Tio John: You are such a vessel of strength and unconditional love. I admire you more than you know and I'm glad we will always be family <3

Natasha: It's really cool that we're both in New York now and our age gap doesn't matter as much haha You must be relieved you don't have to babysit me anymore (we all know how hyper I used to be) and instead we can enjoy deep talks and binging Netflix shows. Thanks for always being there.

Gaby: Oh Gaby... I freaking wish I could hug you. You astound me everyday with your resilience and brilliance. Truly. I've always said you'd be the next Einstein but now I'm thinking you'll be even more than that. You have such a beautiful soul and your parents have every reason to be proud.

Abuelo & Bianelly: Admiro tanto su amor. Espero algún día tener un amor así de fuerte.

Abuela: De verdad que te amo. Siempre lo haré.

Grandma & Grandpa: I miss you so much and I hope you guys are staying warm!

Tia Susan: I am purely convinced that you are my guardian angel.

Ali: Thank you for always being the sister I never had. I think our relationship is only gonna get better from here on out :)

Bob & Max: Regardless of whether you like having me around, y'all are such homies and I love youuuuu.

Suki: Muchachita de la porra I miss you so heckin much. Also, are you sure you're not part turkey?

Nutella: Niña bella, deja a la vieja tranquila XD

Cami: My dearest Cambria, can't wait to give you snuggles again ahhhhhhhh you're so fluffy I could die.

Luna: My darling creature, we haven't met yet but I'm your Tia and I LOVE YOU LIKE HECK.

Bernie & Phyllis: You little fuckers, I love you so much. Behave yourselves.

Future kitty: Hi there! Soy tu Mamá and I already love you with my whole heart! Stay warm until I get to hold you in my arms, yeah?

My exes: thank u, next :*

Pri: Chica, ven visítame porfaaaaaaa

Evan: Boiiiiiiiiiii, hello hi let's get ice cream and watch Narcos and go on a spooky scary midnight adventure and be besties again :)

Linnea: My love, I hope you know how much I love you with every fiber of my being. I would do anything for you and if someone hurts you, you best believe I will fuck. them. up. Now let's get together and take stunning pictures of each other <3

The Martins: If it wasn't already obvious, you guys are practically my second family and I love you to death and basically when can I move in?

The Night Owls: Your child misses you!!!

The Riders: You know how much you've done for me. I can never repay you.

Lauryn & Kelila: Hey babes, just wanted to say you're literally two of the bestest friends I've ever had and I live for our groupchat. I would do anything for either of you and I hope we get to see each other and be hoes together soon <3

Derek: It's sorta awesome having someone you've never met in person to count on. I gotchu fam.

Amanda: We vibe so hard together. I care about you immensely and your hugs are truly some of the best known to mankind.

Riley: You've grown so so so much from when I first met you and I can't even express how proud I am.You are going to do amazing things in this world, I know it.

Megan: My fave wife, please come visit me so we can have snuggles and excitement!!!

Soren: My precious child, holy heck am I proud of you. You better not forget about me when you're rich and famous and the most sought after celebrity of all time.

Julia: The Abbey can be tough but you are tougher. Even when you don't feel like it. Do not let it defeat you. I am here to support you always.

Caellum: I won't give up on you. No matter how many times you don't answer my damn texts, you fucker. Love you.

Emma: Babygirl, you were my first ever little sister and it pains me to even think that you're not so little anymore. You've grown so much and my heart aches to see you again. I love you I love you I love you.

Fonts: I think the fact that you've finally graduated college has automatically transitioned you into dad-hood and now you can't help but pick up the phone when I call at three in the morning :) You are seriously the best, thank you, I love you.

Mike, T & Thom: Forever and always my big brothers. I owe a lot to you.

Claire, Maeve & Sophia: Wish I could get us all together and have a ball. What a time that would be.

Aidan: Whoa whoa whoa I kinda really super duper like you, is that weird??? You're brilliant and kind and passionate and inspiring and hilarious and gorgeous so um can you stop being so perfect please? Thanks. Also, I miss you monkey.

Cast of Hadestown: Um so can you maybe leave a little talent to the rest of us please and thank you?

Emma Gonzalez: When I grow up, I wanna be just like you.

Dr. Ford: Your courage, eloquence and determination do not go unnoticed. Thank you.

Trevor Noah: Thank you for articulating such important issues and bringing them to the public. There's no place for them to hide anymore.

Michelle Obama: Please adopt me or become president or both?

All the Women Elected for Congress: LET'S FUCK IT UP LADIES

Frivvi, Maria & Emma: I owe countless restful nights to you three. What angels you are.

Alicia Keys: Always an icon. Always an inspiration.

Eddie Redmayne: You are a literal cinnamon roll. If you weren't 36 that'd be cool.

Zendaya: Marry me?

Donald Glover: You have my endless praise.

Lady Sybil: Please come back to life you were literally my favorite character and I aspire to be half the woman you were.

Tom Holland: I've already signed the adoption papers now pls come home

Barack Obama: I miss you.

Amandla Stenberg: Keep waking the people up like you do.

Noah Centineo: Hi so you don't know this yet but we're getting married and having like a thousand babies and they better all be like you I don't think I've ever crushed on anyone this fucking hard in a long ass time so pay up my dude

Willow Smith: You come from a long line of strong, brave women and you are no exception.

Billie Eilish: I can't even comprehend how someone so young already possesses the skill level that you do. Not only are you astronomically talented, but you have one of the most beautiful minds. I'm sorry it's tortured at times. I hope you make it out okay.

Ariana Grande: Woman of the Year is such an understatement. You deserve global recognition for your outstanding resilience in the past year. You crawled into hell and back and are STILL kickin'. Words can't even express how much I admire you.

Brockhampton: It's wild how fucking poetic y'all are. It's inspiring.

Lady Gaga: Perhaps the boldest most empowering woman I grew up admiring. Such talent and confidence and grace... I bow down to you, Lady.

Lin Manuel: You're still my babe :*

Bibi: Quite possibly the best I've ever had. Thank you for all that you do.

..........

How lucky am I to have so much to be thankful for?

Hasta la próxima,

Much love xoxo

Maya

P.S: It's currently way-too-fucking-late o'clock and I have a splitting headache so I need to go to bed but I love you cornflakes mucho mucho mucho :*

Turkey Day List #2

To all the beautiful creatures in my life, this is for you.

(Casually meant to post this a few days ago, oops, my bad)

..........

Mami & Papi: Thanks for teaching me that grown ups still have a lot of growing up to do.

YD & Javi: My precious bros, now and forever.

Suki: I'll see you soon, baby.

Grandma & Grandpa: Thanks for sending me an adorable card for every holiday season.

Abuelo y Abuela: Los quiero mucho. Gracias por toda su paciencia.

Lori & David: Without your care, I don't know where I'd be. I guess we're full circle now.

Titi Dorianny: You are the strongest person I know. Te quiero tantisimo <3

Tia Susan: You've been my savior this year, you really have.

Ali: Thanks for letting me invade your space, ily :*

Wilsons/Estrellas/Fishers: I know we don't all get along but we love each other just the same.

Kerrs/Doires/Martins: Thank you for always making me feel like a part of the family.

Pri: Chacha, eres mi numero 1. Sabes que te quiero ahora y siempre.

William: Words can't really begin to describe how thankful I am for you. Though our true origin story is somewhat laughable, what happened next was nothing less than magical. It's day 14 (but not like I'm counting) and you have made me feel more special than anyone else on this planet. It's still hard to believe you're real sometimes, but I guess I'll just have to get used to that. Thank you for your sweetness, your kindness and compassion, your loyalty, authenticity and support. Thank you for the phone calls that lasted more than five hours at a time. Thank you for your hugs, your kisses, and your spirit. Thank you for your Spotify playlists and for reading poetry to me. Thank you for the naps and the dance parties and all the fun in between. You are one of the kind, you are. Who knows where we'll take us, but I sure am having fun in the meantime <3

Michael, Natalia, Liam, Warren, & Jack: It's been so lovely meeting you and I cannot thank you enough for being apart of my William's life. I hope to see you all soon! (especially you, Natalia xx)

Fonts: You continue to be nothing but a constant source of happiness for me. Please make sure we make it to that seven year mark.

Mike: I love you, Sitka. Even though we've grown up and stuff doesn't mean I don't still need you.

Caellum: You worry me so much and yet parts of me believe we're two sides of the same coin. It'll be all right.

T: Hope you're doing swell, dad.

Thom: Thanks for being my first introduction to the world of magical substances. Your help was very much needed... *laughs hysterically whilst sweating*

Scotty P: Well now that I figured out you go to Middlebury, I guess I'm just gonna hafta visit ya soon, aren't I?

Claire: Girl, you keep slaying like you do. I've always looked up to you and you do not disappoint. Much love to you, babe <3

Emmalene: Hey, gorgeous. Thank you for making me smile even when you're down. You make it easy to be happy again.

Maeve: To be honest, I know neither of us talks all that much anymore but I am ECSTATIC for you and everything you do with your life. Yer a stunna.

Heather: Thank you for being a devoted blog reader, it means more than you know. Also thanks for listening to my endless nonsense rambles.

Sophia: Hello hi I'm still in love with you come adopt me sometime pls :*

Lauryn: Casually let me know when the cast list is out because I'm about to hop on that calendar and write the dates down, I have GOT to see you slay that stage. P.S: I love you so much, bby. You continue to be my crush <3

Kelila: You sweet creature, you. Thanks for all the smiles and the tears and the laughs. You deserve nothing but the best. Also, SCAD DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY THEY JUST GOT, GO KILL 'EM.

Sarah: AHHHHH hello new best friend!!! Can't wait to turn up in Brooklyn with you! Sincerely, if y'all don't tie the knot, Imma be real upset. Jk jk no pressure but actually tho

Riley: I fuckin' love you, dude. I think about you every day. Go make the world a better place, you got this.

Megan: My better spouse, you are just so precious. I cannot imagine my life without you. I hope senior year isn't beating your ass like it did mine. I BELEAF IN YOU!

Emma: I know you're like a trillion feet taller than me now, but you're still my baby sister. Sophomore year sucks, and it will continue to suck, but the rest gets better. I promise. Your big sister loves you so very much. Thank you for being another reason not to die.

Amanda: Hey, I hope college hasn't stamped out your spirit, cuz babe, there's no one else like you.

Evan: Hey, loser. How's my best frand doin'? I miss you so much every single day and I casually might not ever give you your pants back :) jk I will it might just be a while ANYWHO, I kinda wanted to write you something that wasn't actually mean for once. You know. Something nice and wholesome. Don't worry, I'll go back to treating you like trash immediately after :) So. This is just to say you are hands down one of the BEST things that could have happened to me in my few short months at Vassar. Part of me feels like you're my long lost twin (which would explain why we treat each other like trash but also care about each other a whole lot lot lot). I dunno, dude, I miss our long walks and our trips to the Deece and walking back to Cushing while throwing shade at Noyes and I miss making fun of your tomato hands and I miss binging Narcos with you and Stranger Things and dropping classes every other day. I miss our fight club and our long chats in the basement and doing laundry and just idk existing in the same space. You mean more to me than you know. I know this all might just sound like sappy shit to you but I mean it. I love you, ya stinkin' banana. So much. Please don't forget about me while I'm gone. Okay. I'm done. Hope you had a fab Thanksgiving, fucker :)

Linnea: Hello, love. Can I just point out that you are the best roommate I've ever had? I know you probably don't believe me but guuuuuuuurl, I've seen some shit XD Anyway, this is just me telling you everything I've already said before—Linnea, my love, you are so beautiful, and so talented, and so fucking kind. Like I don't even think you understand. Your hugs and your smiles and your forehead kisses and your post its and your text messages and your radiance would just make my day. Thank you for all those times we stayed up late ordering Bacio's and watching Disney movies or Full House. Thank you for all the times you reminded me I needed to pee. Thank you for your Heath Bars on bad days and dance parties on good days. Thank you for dealing with all my crazy and all my emotional reck-ness. Thank you for unintentional twinning and for teaching me to do my eyebrows and for not judging me for my lack of clothing at all times. Thank you for stealing food from the Deece with me and for rants about pretty boys. You mean the world to me, darling. I cannot WAIT to see you again. You are such a shining star, and you better believe it. No one shines quite as brightly as you. I love you I love you I love you <3

Juliana: Mi amorrrrrrr, te extraño tanto!!! I can't wait to go back and just dance the night away with you again. For real though, you make everything more fun. You gotta teach me Portuguese sometime! Take care of Samira while I'm gone, she worries me sometimes XD

Prat: My duuuuude, I'm sorry we never quite got around to seeing each other as much as we wanted to but props for being one of my first friends at Vassar. I miss your hugs and our drunken endeavors. We gotta catch up on that next year, yeah?

Githu: Casually had a crush on you like the first week of school, oops? Hahaha no but for real though, you're drop dead gorgeous and you deserve to know that. Also I wish we saw each other more because whenever we hung out, it was a good time. Much love!!!

Moe: It looks like Cushing is going to see you around more than me now, huh?

Pedro: Keep doing your thing, dude. It's rad.

Anthony: Mijo, espero que te estes cuidando bien, ah? Cuando vuelva, tenemos que comenzar esas cenas españolas, okay?

Sergio: Esa noche que bailamos juntos fue un verdadero éxito. Aunque de verdad no ayudó que me acababa de tomar tres shots de tequila...

Ethan: Wow wow wow #1 best stufel EVER. Like, you have no idea how helpful you've been in the time that I spent at Vassar. I couldn't have done it without you.

The Night Owls-- I LOVE YOU (OWL) ALL!

Lily: Not gonna lie, was casually intimidated by you during auditions and callbacks but then learned how wacky and darling you were and fell absolutely in love!

Chiara: You are such a stunna. Like WOW I forget to sing my part whenever you're soloing because I lowkey become mesmerized at how talented you are but oh whaleeeee!

Imani: Thank you coming up to me at the activities fair and for asking me if I liked to sing. That's lowkey how I got it all started... I could never repay you for that <3

Bailey: Thank you for being my rock as I struggled through a helluva tough decision. Your help was so so so appreciated.

Jacqui: MAMA!!! I miss our mutual geekiness over superheroes and our sectionals and literally any time ever spent with you. I look up to you so so so much.

Haley: Sorta loved you from the first moment you opened your mouth. What can I say? That first impression did not lie.

Zoe: I will never forget the first time I heard you sing Trickle. My jaw literally dropped. You amaze me.

Olivia: I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T MET YOU YET, MAMA, BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO!

Emma: 5'2 CLUB! I feel like we have very similar souls and I am so thankful for your good vibes and good advice <3

Sam: You sometimes make me cry with how genuine you are. No lie, your hugs and authenticity give me life. And Hayden Elizabeth the Dinosaur, too.

Ariana: HEY THANKS FOR BEING MY QUEER CHAPERONE! IT WAS LIT!

Sab: That one mug night with you made me learn so much and I can't remember having a more entertaining time xx

Maisha: My darling Maisha, seeing your face in rehearsal was like saying hello to the sun.

Helen: My sweet Helen, your work snapchats were hella relatable and I lowkey miss them so much.

Elena: My dear Elena, your elegance and goofiness can be described as nothing more than high art.

The cast of Spring Awakening: To be completely honest, I'd wanted to be a part of this show since I was twelve years old. Even though I didn't end up being onstage with you, it meant the world to at least be chosen to be a part of it in the first place. Much love. (Also I'm expecting to see a recording soon please and thank you)

Las niñas de Cayacoa: No podría amar lo que estoy haciendo si no fuera por ustedes. Las quiero. Cuidanse bien, oyeron?

Barbara: Holy wow, I have never actually found someone who worked and well, you worked and so I'm sort of amazed. Wow wow wow good job universe for pairing us together and all :)

Aaron Tveit: What a beautiful man you are wow let's get married thank you

Ben Platt: So if I could have your babies, that would be nice. I just need them to sing. Jk jk thank you for showing me what performance is all about. Thank you for reminding me why I want to make it my profession.

Zoella: Once again, you never fail to make me smile. You've always been there, from the very beginning :)

Me: You've made it this far. I dare you to live a little longer.

..........

And those are just a few of the big ones.

Hasta la próxima,

Much love xoxo

Maya

My Friends and the Hundreds of Millions of Things That They Are

Hello loves. I was doing a bit of tumblring the other day when I happened upon something quite interesting and this, right here, my dears, is my attempt at recreating that.

Please don't take offense, just know that every one of these things is what makes me love you even more <3

..........

Claire: nineteen, goldilocks 'til the day she dies, red lipstick and waterproof mascara, films everything her friends do because my god she loves them, blogposts and dark chocolate, bandanas and shades on-the-go, band-T's and pointe shoes, eats trail mix by the pound, chipped nail polish, a smile that makes her eyes crease like sun-rays, car keys and sunscreen, loud music or no music, pancakes and OJ, proud Ravenclaw, Stitchers and T-swizzle, too much perfume and unabashed cackling, no one loves more fiercely than she.

Fonts: twenty-one, begins most sentences with a pun, beer cans and flip-flops, life of the party or first one to crash, bass amps and drunken texts, light hazing and hidden compliments, pocket poetry and solid ground, old music and sage advice, glazed eyes and wide smiles, thoughts that expand beyond the universe, engages in many a poke battle, polo shirts and Bermuda shorts, relentless, Bruce Springsteen and ping-pong, loud singing and wholesome memes, unafraid of dropping everything for the ones he loves.

Mike: twenty, prickly stubble and bone-crushing hugs, goofy smiles and 3/4 socks, dad glasses and drumsticks, honesty and lack of grace, undecipherable texts and American chop suey, the calm after the storm (but sometimes also the storm), Brother Bear and a desire to be needed, pinky promises and Buffalo pizza, impulsive and stupid and an absolute goon, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, pats on the back and words of encouragement, protective to a fault, Dunkin' Donuts and tired eyes, will always forgive and welcome you back.

Caellum: nineteen, a mess of curls and a jumpy personality, drives too fast, plays too loud, calloused hands and muscle-T's, Shakespeare extraordinaire, color-changing eyes and itty bitty handwriting, microphones and videogames and headphones that don't fit, brooding in shadows and existentialist thoughts, miles of legs with nowhere to go, ice cream and sarcasm, tea leaves and liquor, unfinished poetry and skinny jeans, beanies and irony, weed and cologne, fingerless gloves and Sherlock quotes, Disney movies and warm blankets, loves too deeply, falls too quickly, a force to be reckoned with.

Amanda: seventeen, angels and demons, ukulele strings, snapbacks and leather jackets, bugspray and cigarettes, drunk texts and watchful eyes, rollercoasters and hand-holding, Lauren Jauregui and skin-tight jeans, a mix of perfume and cologne, sly smirks and ringed fingers, hair like a black cascade, sketches and journals and soul sealed shut, danger and risk but excitement, Netflix and whispers in the dark, wears confidence like a cape, literal child and puppy-lover, nightmares and after-cuddles, crucifixes and hockey sticks, sunflower seeds and tough love, a knowing spirit with a knowing heart.

Tom: twenty, wild red mane and height of a tree, high-pitched giggles and shiny guitars, head-banging while lip-synching your favorite songs, all real and there and present, brilliant at one-too-many things, guitar picks and tuners and cool toys, munchies for days, laughter that rattles your soul, eyes that live only in the right now, resident ginger and cheerer upper, John Mayer and unfinished lyrics, mac 'n cheese and Mountain Dew, heart of a lion and drive of a motor engine, never have I ever met a more generous soul.

Sophia: nineteen, basketball hoops and keyboards, laughter that can light up an entire room, no bullshit and no bounds, Adidas and crops tops, mono and cough drops, bouncy black curls and nose rings, jam sessions and inside jokes, ziplock bags filled with NyQuil, lights fireworks as she speaks, heart and soul and no holding back, voice like melted chocolate, secret sororities and med-school lingo, cocoa butter and lactose intolerance, late night chats under magical skies, airplane buddies and mutual hatred, the Angelica to my Eliza, lives every day like her last, consider yourself blessed to be her friend.

Lauryn: sixteen, loud jokes and snide remarks, tight braids and big doe-eyes, musicals and rap battles, pineapples and EpiPens, bra-flinger and tickling extraordinaire, 10/10 will fight you, fanfiction and One Direction, uneven tans and Mexican jokes, talent for making anything sexual, insults those she loves most, Jeff and memes and Capri Suns, an explosion that cannot be contained, hot sauce and banter and booty, stubborn and unflinching, will screenshot anything to blackmail you, butt grabs and raspberry chocolate, 1000% under-appreciated and the whole world needs to know what a wonder she is.

Kelila: seventeen, gentle eyes and flashing teeth, cherry allergies and Dr. Pepper, loudest at the table and quietest in her head, all purple and soft and aching, horses and ice-chewing and violas, converse and rainbows, poetry etched into the corners of notebooks, can always tell when something is wrong, sour gummies and insomnia and clumsiness, injuries and sweet tooths, loud sneezes and cold hands, indecisive, unpredictable, fuzzy and caring and warm, brilliant, hysterical and capable, small lil daisy waiting to bloom.

Riley: sixteen, vanilla and baby powder, mixtapes and distracks, laughs too loud and smiles too big, platonic kisses and baggy T-shirts, polar and extreme, selfies and finsta posts, gummy bears and no filters, hockey sticks and tight dresses, chokers and smiling eyes and too-honest remarks, strawberry blonde and extra butter, glitter eyeliner and softball gloves, a gaze like staring into a galaxy, voice trembling with vibrato, can't help how she feels, tries her damned hardest, all aboard the Angst Express, eyelashes that never stop growing, messy buns and leggings and a desire to be loved.

Megan: seventeen, tangled hair and hot chocolate, long lashes and turtlenecks, excited squeals from miles away, hidden hickeys and homemade nachos, marshmallow-soft hugs and dance parties, shopping buddy and fellow dickphobe, unable to say no, fleece sweatshirts and peppermint, big spoon and hums of approval, Better Spouse with freaky feet, Harry Potter and John Green, leg warmers and organized chaos, mismatched socks and wooly mittens, all of the beauty and all of the charm, will kiss you on the forehead and gift you chestnuts for good luck, basically the purest human I know.

Emma: fifteen, blue eyes like a crystal sea, unknowing of what she wants, eccentric vegetarian, Dutch braids and no grace, Play-Do and Snapchat filters, can't dance and can't be left alone, Mario Kart and fuzzy socks, blue veins and pink cheeks, will travel great distances to keep you fed, mind ablaze with a thousand thoughts per minute, juice boxes and MiniWheats, contagious laughter and made-up songs, one second she loves you and the next—watch out, avoids confrontation, Stitch and bracelets and pockets of sunshine, boybands and playfights and unconditional love, tends to view life through a catastrophic lens, sizzles and pops and just wants to be good enough, my precious child.

..........

So there you have it. Accurate or way off? You let me know ;)

Missing you all a bunch and a half!

Hasta la próxima,

Much love xoxo

Maya