Hey everyone. It's been a while. Sorry about that.
Yet again I find myself writing seemingly nonsensical gibberish at four in the morning. To be fair, at least I don't have class on Fridays. I went to bed wicked early last night with the intention to wake up around 3am so I could deliver my absent roommate's adorable Valentine's Day treats, and I guess I just haven't fallen asleep since.
I took the opportunity that I was awake to edit Pri's college app essays which I had promised to take care of two days ago. I'd been meaning to do it but always found myself preoccupied or too tired. I'm proud to say it's over and done with now though. It's something I accomplished and can now tick off my to-do list.
I've been binge-watching Season 3 of Riverdale because I love my trashy Cole Sprouse show with all my heart no matter how bad it is or how many plotholes there are. I've been trying to make it through the week relatively unscathed. Hasn't particularly worked. After my roommate, Jessica had to go home last week due to an emergency, I haven't quite been able to pull myself out of this weird energy vacuum. I miss her like hell. I miss when the room wasn't so empty. She'll be back eventually but it might take a while, we don't know.
Though I love my classes and my job and my friends and my schedule this semester, I've still been struggling with some other energy-sucking situations. Meetings with the Title IX office; meetings with my therapist; meetings with my survivor's group therapy; meetings with my academic/life coach; it's just all been a lot. And I've been well supported, I have, but it's still like... Like I just don't have the focus or alertness to do it all, all the time, you know?
Anyway.
I love my job—working with little kids brings so much joy. I love my Movement for Actors and Jazz Dance classes the most. It feels so good to get out of my head and into my body and get actual academic credit for it. I love my friends—the ones that listen to my bullshit stories and the ones that take me for a drive at two in the morning and the ones that take spontaneous diner trips for shakes and fries and the ones that take boudoir photos of each other and the ones that play cards against humanity till we pee ourselves and the ones that agree to sing their heart out with me. They're all so special and I adore them so so so so much. I love my roommate and I cannot wait until she gets back.
I've sort of been in a creative block lately. Like I have so many ideas and have so many things I want to create and pursue but I just can't bring myself to start any of them. Writing this blogpost was my attempt to just kinda get out there and make something even if it's shit. It beats keeping everything inside my head.
Tomorrow or I guess later tonight, I'm going to see my friend Leila's burlesque show and I'm super duper excited about that. And on Saturday, the Owls have their annual Margaritowlville concert. The dress code is all black—dress to undress. So that's pretty exciting too. I'm gonna attempt to do as much of my work ahead of time as possible so I can fully enjoy the weekend in all its glory.
Or something like that.
Ay, mijos, it's nearly 5am and I still haven't gone back to bed. I should fix that, really. Tomorrow I will breathe to life new accomplishments and new creations and I will have things to be proud of. I will I will I will.
Here's wishing you all a dandy Valentine's Day. May it be everything you want it to be or not be.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
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