I miss you every single day.
I just wanted to share the dream I had about you last night. It's weird, after you were gone, I dreamt about you every night but within the past few months you sorta drifted away... And I was afraid I'd lost you for good.
But last night you popped back into my dreams and I just can't explain it... This time was different. It was like you were really, truly there. I dunno. It's sorta hard to explain.
I was back at some hybrid version of the Abbey and Vassar mixed together. The whole dorm experience thing, I guess. And I remember seeing people from both high school and college living in the same space and they all knew each other. Weird how dreams are able to manipulate reality that way...
I remember being slightly aggravated because all the showers were taken and the light switches in the bathroom were being flickery. I remember complaining to someone about needing to call maintenance to fix the light. But as soon as they walked out the door and I turned my head, the room transformed.
It was no longer a bathroom, but some sort of dingy study room. Empty except for you, Rosie.
You just sat there by a round table, as if waiting for me. And suddenly the flickering lights came to a stop and settled on a warm glow. I looked at you and looked at you and my heart caught in my throat.
"Rosie?"
You had your red hair tied back in one of those messy buns and were wearing your Oxford letterman jacket along with your black skinny jeans and beat up combat boots. You were there. For real this time.
You gave me a gentle smile before pulling me into a hug. I couldn't breathe. I could feel your arms around me, I mean really feel them. Solid flesh and bone and just... I could feel your heartbeat.
You had a heartbeat, Rosie.
And you were so warm, like I could feel the all the blood within you. You pulled away to look at me with those blue eyes but all I could think about was how much I wanted to hug you again.
"Hey, Maya."
I could feel my chest start to tighten and my eyes start to water.
"Are you real?" I blurted, voice cracking.
You looked at me with this sort of sad smile.
"Yes, I'm real. But I can't stay long,"
Immediately, I started to panic, thoughts racing, trying to figure out some way to keep you here with me.
Instead, you pulled out a chair for me and invited me to sit down. Without breaking your gaze, I sat.
I was afraid you'd disappear if I looked away.
"You're doing really well," you said.
You gave my knee a pat.
"Hardly... I just dropped outta school, Rosie. That doesn't sound like 'well' to me."
"But you're managing. That's good," you said, and I could feel my eyes start to glaze over with a new wave of tears.
"Why can't you stay?"
"I can't."
"What can I do to make you stay?" I pleaded, reaching for the hem of your jacket.
"Maya... I'm already gone. I just stopped by to check on you, that's all," your smile kinda dropped a little bit and I knew you were sad about it too.
I could feel the tears flowing out my eyes in streams but I couldn't stop.
"Rosie, I miss you. Can't you stay a while?" I wiped at my nose, hoping you'd give in.
"I'm sorry, kiddo. I've gotta go," you gave my hand a squeeze before standing up.
"Go where?" I stood up, alarmed.
"Away for a little while."
"But will I ever see you again?"
I wanted to reach out to you, to touch you, to feel your heartbeat one more time.
"Maybe someday. Promise me you'll take care of yourself?"
You gave me one of those rare stern looks of yours.
"I—okay."
I stood up to give you a hug once again, but this one was more fleeting, more urgent.
I squeezed you and watched my tears drop onto your letterman jacket. I felt your heartbeat.
I turned around to push in my chair before saying, "I love you," but you were already gone.
I miss you, Rosie.
I love you.
I do.
-Maya xo
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Sunday, November 26, 2017
Turkey Day List #2
To all the beautiful creatures in my life, this is for you.
(Casually meant to post this a few days ago, oops, my bad)
Mami & Papi: Thanks for teaching me that grown ups still have a lot of growing up to do.
YD & Javi: My precious bros, now and forever.
Suki: I'll see you soon, baby.
Grandma & Grandpa: Thanks for sending me an adorable card for every holiday season.
Abuelo y Abuela: Los quiero mucho. Gracias por toda su paciencia.
Lori & David: Without your care, I don't know where I'd be. I guess we're full circle now.
Titi Dorianny: You are the strongest person I know. Te quiero tantisimo <3
Tia Susan: You've been my savior this year, you really have.
Ali: Thanks for letting me invade your space, ily :*
Wilsons/Estrellas/Fishers: I know we don't all get along but we love each other just the same.
Kerrs/Doires/Martins: Thank you for always making me feel like a part of the family.
Pri: Chacha, eres mi numero 1. Sabes que te quiero ahora y siempre.
William: Words can't really begin to describe how thankful I am for you. Though our true origin story is somewhat laughable, what happened next was nothing less than magical. It's day 14 (but not like I'm counting) and you have made me feel more special than anyone else on this planet. It's still hard to believe you're real sometimes, but I guess I'll just have to get used to that. Thank you for your sweetness, your kindness and compassion, your loyalty, authenticity and support. Thank you for the phone calls that lasted more than five hours at a time. Thank you for your hugs, your kisses, and your spirit. Thank you for your Spotify playlists and for reading poetry to me. Thank you for the naps and the dance parties and all the fun in between. You are one of the kind, you are. Who knows where we'll take us, but I sure am having fun in the meantime <3
Michael, Natalia, Liam, Warren, & Jack: It's been so lovely meeting you and I cannot thank you enough for being apart of my William's life. I hope to see you all soon! (especially you, Natalia xx)
Fonts: You continue to be nothing but a constant source of happiness for me. Please make sure we make it to that seven year mark.
Mike: I love you, Sitka. Even though we've grown up and stuff doesn't mean I don't still need you.
Caellum: You worry me so much and yet parts of me believe we're two sides of the same coin. It'll be all right.
T: Hope you're doing swell, dad.
Thom: Thanks for being my first introduction to the world of magical substances. Your help was very much needed... *laughs hysterically whilst sweating*
Scotty P: Well now that I figured out you go to Middlebury, I guess I'm just gonna hafta visit ya soon, aren't I?
Claire: Girl, you keep slaying like you do. I've always looked up to you and you do not disappoint. Much love to you, babe <3
Emmalene: Hey, gorgeous. Thank you for making me smile even when you're down. You make it easy to be happy again.
Maeve: To be honest, I know neither of us talks all that much anymore but I am ECSTATIC for you and everything you do with your life. Yer a stunna.
Heather: Thank you for being a devoted blog reader, it means more than you know. Also thanks for listening to my endless nonsense rambles.
Sophia: Hello hi I'm still in love with you come adopt me sometime pls :*
Lauryn: Casually let me know when the cast list is out because I'm about to hop on that calendar and write the dates down, I have GOT to see you slay that stage. P.S: I love you so much, bby. You continue to be my crush <3
Kelila: You sweet creature, you. Thanks for all the smiles and the tears and the laughs. You deserve nothing but the best. Also, SCAD DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY THEY JUST GOT, GO KILL 'EM.
Sarah: AHHHHH hello new best friend!!! Can't wait to turn up in Brooklyn with you! Sincerely, if y'all don't tie the knot, Imma be real upset. Jk jk no pressure but actually tho
Riley: I fuckin' love you, dude. I think about you every day. Go make the world a better place, you got this.
Megan: My better spouse, you are just so precious. I cannot imagine my life without you. I hope senior year isn't beating your ass like it did mine. I BELEAF IN YOU!
Emma: I know you're like a trillion feet taller than me now, but you're still my baby sister. Sophomore year sucks, and it will continue to suck, but the rest gets better. I promise. Your big sister loves you so very much. Thank you for being another reason not to die.
Amanda: Hey, I hope college hasn't stamped out your spirit, cuz babe, there's no one else like you.
Evan: Hey, loser. How's my best frand doin'? I miss you so much every single day and I casually might not ever give you your pants back :) jk I will it might just be a while ANYWHO, I kinda wanted to write you something that wasn't actually mean for once. You know. Something nice and wholesome. Don't worry, I'll go back to treating you like trash immediately after :) So. This is just to say you are hands down one of the BEST things that could have happened to me in my few short months at Vassar. Part of me feels like you're my long lost twin (which would explain why we treat each other like trash but also care about each other a whole lot lot lot). I dunno, dude, I miss our long walks and our trips to the Deece and walking back to Cushing while throwing shade at Noyes and I miss making fun of your tomato hands and I miss binging Narcos with you and Stranger Things and dropping classes every other day. I miss our fight club and our long chats in the basement and doing laundry and just idk existing in the same space. You mean more to me than you know. I know this all might just sound like sappy shit to you but I mean it. I love you, ya stinkin' banana. So much. Please don't forget about me while I'm gone. Okay. I'm done. Hope you had a fab Thanksgiving, fucker :)
Linnea: Hello, love. Can I just point out that you are the best roommate I've ever had? I know you probably don't believe me but guuuuuuuurl, I've seen some shit XD Anyway, this is just me telling you everything I've already said before—Linnea, my love, you are so beautiful, and so talented, and so fucking kind. Like I don't even think you understand. Your hugs and your smiles and your forehead kisses and your post its and your text messages and your radiance would just make my day. Thank you for all those times we stayed up late ordering Bacio's and watching Disney movies or Full House. Thank you for all the times you reminded me I needed to pee. Thank you for your Heath Bars on bad days and dance parties on good days. Thank you for dealing with all my crazy and all my emotional reck-ness. Thank you for unintentional twinning and for teaching me to do my eyebrows and for not judging me for my lack of clothing at all times. Thank you for stealing food from the Deece with me and for rants about pretty boys. You mean the world to me, darling. I cannot WAIT to see you again. You are such a shining star, and you better believe it. No one shines quite as brightly as you. I love you I love you I love you <3
Juliana: Mi amorrrrrrr, te extraño tanto!!! I can't wait to go back and just dance the night away with you again. For real though, you make everything more fun. You gotta teach me Portuguese sometime! Take care of Samira while I'm gone, she worries me sometimes XD
Prat: My duuuuude, I'm sorry we never quite got around to seeing each other as much as we wanted to but props for being one of my first friends at Vassar. I miss your hugs and our drunken endeavors. We gotta catch up on that next year, yeah?
Githu: Casually had a crush on you like the first week of school, oops? Hahaha no but for real though, you're drop dead gorgeous and you deserve to know that. Also I wish we saw each other more because whenever we hung out, it was a good time. Much love!!!
Moe: It looks like Cushing is going to see you around more than me now, huh?
Pedro: Keep doing your thing, dude. It's rad.
Anthony: Mijo, espero que te estes cuidando bien, ah? Cuando vuelva, tenemos que comenzar esas cenas españolas, okay?
Sergio: Esa noche que bailamos juntos fue un verdadero éxito. Aunque de verdad no ayudó que me acababa de tomar tres shots de tequila...
Ethan: Wow wow wow #1 best stufel EVER. Like, you have no idea how helpful you've been in the time that I spent at Vassar. I couldn't have done it without you.
The Night Owls-- I LOVE YOU (OWL) ALL!
Lily: Not gonna lie, was casually intimidated by you during auditions and callbacks but then learned how wacky and darling you were and fell absolutely in love!
Chiara: You are such a stunna. Like WOW I forget to sing my part whenever you're soloing because I lowkey become mesmerized at how talented you are but oh whaleeeee!
Imani: Thank you coming up to me at the activities fair and for asking me if I liked to sing. That's lowkey how I got it all started... I could never repay you for that <3
Bailey: Thank you for being my rock as I struggled through a helluva tough decision. Your help was so so so appreciated.
Jacqui: MAMA!!! I miss our mutual geekiness over superheroes and our sectionals and literally any time ever spent with you. I look up to you so so so much.
Haley: Sorta loved you from the first moment you opened your mouth. What can I say? That first impression did not lie.
Zoe: I will never forget the first time I heard you sing Trickle. My jaw literally dropped. You amaze me.
Olivia: I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T MET YOU YET, MAMA, BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO!
Emma: 5'2 CLUB! I feel like we have very similar souls and I am so thankful for your good vibes and good advice <3
Sam: You sometimes make me cry with how genuine you are. No lie, your hugs and authenticity give me life. And Hayden Elizabeth the Dinosaur, too.
Ariana: HEY THANKS FOR BEING MY QUEER CHAPERONE! IT WAS LIT!
Sab: That one mug night with you made me learn so much and I can't remember having a more entertaining time xx
Maisha: My darling Maisha, seeing your face in rehearsal was like saying hello to the sun.
Helen: My sweet Helen, your work snapchats were hella relatable and I lowkey miss them so much.
Elena: My dear Elena, your elegance and goofiness can be described as nothing more than high art.
The cast of Spring Awakening: To be completely honest, I'd wanted to be a part of this show since I was twelve years old. Even though I didn't end up being onstage with you, it meant the world to at least be chosen to be a part of it in the first place. Much love. (Also I'm expecting to see a recording soon please and thank you)
Las niñas de Cayacoa: No podría amar lo que estoy haciendo si no fuera por ustedes. Las quiero. Cuidanse bien, oyeron?
Barbara: Holy wow, I have never actually found someone who worked and well, you worked and so I'm sort of amazed. Wow wow wow good job universe for pairing us together and all :)
Aaron Tveit: What a beautiful man you are wow let's get married thank you
Ben Platt: So if I could have your babies, that would be nice. I just need them to sing. Jk jk thank you for showing me what performance is all about. Thank you for reminding me why I want to make it my profession.
Zoella: Once again, you never fail to make me smile. You've always been there, from the very beginning :)
Me: You've made it this far. I dare you to live a little longer.
And those are just a few of the big ones.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
(Casually meant to post this a few days ago, oops, my bad)
..........
Mami & Papi: Thanks for teaching me that grown ups still have a lot of growing up to do.
YD & Javi: My precious bros, now and forever.
Suki: I'll see you soon, baby.
Grandma & Grandpa: Thanks for sending me an adorable card for every holiday season.
Abuelo y Abuela: Los quiero mucho. Gracias por toda su paciencia.
Lori & David: Without your care, I don't know where I'd be. I guess we're full circle now.
Titi Dorianny: You are the strongest person I know. Te quiero tantisimo <3
Tia Susan: You've been my savior this year, you really have.
Ali: Thanks for letting me invade your space, ily :*
Wilsons/Estrellas/Fishers: I know we don't all get along but we love each other just the same.
Kerrs/Doires/Martins: Thank you for always making me feel like a part of the family.
Pri: Chacha, eres mi numero 1. Sabes que te quiero ahora y siempre.
William: Words can't really begin to describe how thankful I am for you. Though our true origin story is somewhat laughable, what happened next was nothing less than magical. It's day 14 (but not like I'm counting) and you have made me feel more special than anyone else on this planet. It's still hard to believe you're real sometimes, but I guess I'll just have to get used to that. Thank you for your sweetness, your kindness and compassion, your loyalty, authenticity and support. Thank you for the phone calls that lasted more than five hours at a time. Thank you for your hugs, your kisses, and your spirit. Thank you for your Spotify playlists and for reading poetry to me. Thank you for the naps and the dance parties and all the fun in between. You are one of the kind, you are. Who knows where we'll take us, but I sure am having fun in the meantime <3
Michael, Natalia, Liam, Warren, & Jack: It's been so lovely meeting you and I cannot thank you enough for being apart of my William's life. I hope to see you all soon! (especially you, Natalia xx)
Fonts: You continue to be nothing but a constant source of happiness for me. Please make sure we make it to that seven year mark.
Mike: I love you, Sitka. Even though we've grown up and stuff doesn't mean I don't still need you.
Caellum: You worry me so much and yet parts of me believe we're two sides of the same coin. It'll be all right.
T: Hope you're doing swell, dad.
Thom: Thanks for being my first introduction to the world of magical substances. Your help was very much needed... *laughs hysterically whilst sweating*
Scotty P: Well now that I figured out you go to Middlebury, I guess I'm just gonna hafta visit ya soon, aren't I?
Claire: Girl, you keep slaying like you do. I've always looked up to you and you do not disappoint. Much love to you, babe <3
Emmalene: Hey, gorgeous. Thank you for making me smile even when you're down. You make it easy to be happy again.
Maeve: To be honest, I know neither of us talks all that much anymore but I am ECSTATIC for you and everything you do with your life. Yer a stunna.
Heather: Thank you for being a devoted blog reader, it means more than you know. Also thanks for listening to my endless nonsense rambles.
Sophia: Hello hi I'm still in love with you come adopt me sometime pls :*
Lauryn: Casually let me know when the cast list is out because I'm about to hop on that calendar and write the dates down, I have GOT to see you slay that stage. P.S: I love you so much, bby. You continue to be my crush <3
Kelila: You sweet creature, you. Thanks for all the smiles and the tears and the laughs. You deserve nothing but the best. Also, SCAD DON'T KNOW HOW LUCKY THEY JUST GOT, GO KILL 'EM.
Sarah: AHHHHH hello new best friend!!! Can't wait to turn up in Brooklyn with you! Sincerely, if y'all don't tie the knot, Imma be real upset. Jk jk no pressure but actually tho
Riley: I fuckin' love you, dude. I think about you every day. Go make the world a better place, you got this.
Megan: My better spouse, you are just so precious. I cannot imagine my life without you. I hope senior year isn't beating your ass like it did mine. I BELEAF IN YOU!
Emma: I know you're like a trillion feet taller than me now, but you're still my baby sister. Sophomore year sucks, and it will continue to suck, but the rest gets better. I promise. Your big sister loves you so very much. Thank you for being another reason not to die.
Amanda: Hey, I hope college hasn't stamped out your spirit, cuz babe, there's no one else like you.
Evan: Hey, loser. How's my best frand doin'? I miss you so much every single day and I casually might not ever give you your pants back :) jk I will it might just be a while ANYWHO, I kinda wanted to write you something that wasn't actually mean for once. You know. Something nice and wholesome. Don't worry, I'll go back to treating you like trash immediately after :) So. This is just to say you are hands down one of the BEST things that could have happened to me in my few short months at Vassar. Part of me feels like you're my long lost twin (which would explain why we treat each other like trash but also care about each other a whole lot lot lot). I dunno, dude, I miss our long walks and our trips to the Deece and walking back to Cushing while throwing shade at Noyes and I miss making fun of your tomato hands and I miss binging Narcos with you and Stranger Things and dropping classes every other day. I miss our fight club and our long chats in the basement and doing laundry and just idk existing in the same space. You mean more to me than you know. I know this all might just sound like sappy shit to you but I mean it. I love you, ya stinkin' banana. So much. Please don't forget about me while I'm gone. Okay. I'm done. Hope you had a fab Thanksgiving, fucker :)
Linnea: Hello, love. Can I just point out that you are the best roommate I've ever had? I know you probably don't believe me but guuuuuuuurl, I've seen some shit XD Anyway, this is just me telling you everything I've already said before—Linnea, my love, you are so beautiful, and so talented, and so fucking kind. Like I don't even think you understand. Your hugs and your smiles and your forehead kisses and your post its and your text messages and your radiance would just make my day. Thank you for all those times we stayed up late ordering Bacio's and watching Disney movies or Full House. Thank you for all the times you reminded me I needed to pee. Thank you for your Heath Bars on bad days and dance parties on good days. Thank you for dealing with all my crazy and all my emotional reck-ness. Thank you for unintentional twinning and for teaching me to do my eyebrows and for not judging me for my lack of clothing at all times. Thank you for stealing food from the Deece with me and for rants about pretty boys. You mean the world to me, darling. I cannot WAIT to see you again. You are such a shining star, and you better believe it. No one shines quite as brightly as you. I love you I love you I love you <3
Juliana: Mi amorrrrrrr, te extraño tanto!!! I can't wait to go back and just dance the night away with you again. For real though, you make everything more fun. You gotta teach me Portuguese sometime! Take care of Samira while I'm gone, she worries me sometimes XD
Prat: My duuuuude, I'm sorry we never quite got around to seeing each other as much as we wanted to but props for being one of my first friends at Vassar. I miss your hugs and our drunken endeavors. We gotta catch up on that next year, yeah?
Githu: Casually had a crush on you like the first week of school, oops? Hahaha no but for real though, you're drop dead gorgeous and you deserve to know that. Also I wish we saw each other more because whenever we hung out, it was a good time. Much love!!!
Moe: It looks like Cushing is going to see you around more than me now, huh?
Pedro: Keep doing your thing, dude. It's rad.
Anthony: Mijo, espero que te estes cuidando bien, ah? Cuando vuelva, tenemos que comenzar esas cenas españolas, okay?
Sergio: Esa noche que bailamos juntos fue un verdadero éxito. Aunque de verdad no ayudó que me acababa de tomar tres shots de tequila...
Ethan: Wow wow wow #1 best stufel EVER. Like, you have no idea how helpful you've been in the time that I spent at Vassar. I couldn't have done it without you.
The Night Owls-- I LOVE YOU (OWL) ALL!
Lily: Not gonna lie, was casually intimidated by you during auditions and callbacks but then learned how wacky and darling you were and fell absolutely in love!
Chiara: You are such a stunna. Like WOW I forget to sing my part whenever you're soloing because I lowkey become mesmerized at how talented you are but oh whaleeeee!
Imani: Thank you coming up to me at the activities fair and for asking me if I liked to sing. That's lowkey how I got it all started... I could never repay you for that <3
Bailey: Thank you for being my rock as I struggled through a helluva tough decision. Your help was so so so appreciated.
Jacqui: MAMA!!! I miss our mutual geekiness over superheroes and our sectionals and literally any time ever spent with you. I look up to you so so so much.
Haley: Sorta loved you from the first moment you opened your mouth. What can I say? That first impression did not lie.
Zoe: I will never forget the first time I heard you sing Trickle. My jaw literally dropped. You amaze me.
Olivia: I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T MET YOU YET, MAMA, BUT I CAN'T WAIT TO!
Emma: 5'2 CLUB! I feel like we have very similar souls and I am so thankful for your good vibes and good advice <3
Sam: You sometimes make me cry with how genuine you are. No lie, your hugs and authenticity give me life. And Hayden Elizabeth the Dinosaur, too.
Ariana: HEY THANKS FOR BEING MY QUEER CHAPERONE! IT WAS LIT!
Sab: That one mug night with you made me learn so much and I can't remember having a more entertaining time xx
Maisha: My darling Maisha, seeing your face in rehearsal was like saying hello to the sun.
Helen: My sweet Helen, your work snapchats were hella relatable and I lowkey miss them so much.
Elena: My dear Elena, your elegance and goofiness can be described as nothing more than high art.
The cast of Spring Awakening: To be completely honest, I'd wanted to be a part of this show since I was twelve years old. Even though I didn't end up being onstage with you, it meant the world to at least be chosen to be a part of it in the first place. Much love. (Also I'm expecting to see a recording soon please and thank you)
Las niñas de Cayacoa: No podría amar lo que estoy haciendo si no fuera por ustedes. Las quiero. Cuidanse bien, oyeron?
Barbara: Holy wow, I have never actually found someone who worked and well, you worked and so I'm sort of amazed. Wow wow wow good job universe for pairing us together and all :)
Aaron Tveit: What a beautiful man you are wow let's get married thank you
Ben Platt: So if I could have your babies, that would be nice. I just need them to sing. Jk jk thank you for showing me what performance is all about. Thank you for reminding me why I want to make it my profession.
Zoella: Once again, you never fail to make me smile. You've always been there, from the very beginning :)
Me: You've made it this far. I dare you to live a little longer.
..........
And those are just a few of the big ones.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Turkey Day List #1
Another year gone by and tons of new stuff to be grateful for <3
To lists: You see the irony in this, don't you?
To Berklee 2k17: Such a win.
To Legally Blonde: Elle was one of the hardest roles I've ever had to play but it was an absolute honor and privilege to be a part of.
To AP Euro: I think Daddy P finally gave up on us but you gotta admit, we were probs one of his favorite classes, just sayin'.
To Senior Spring: Wow wow wow I accomplished zero things during that time :)
To The Auditorium Wall: I finally got around to signing you. I tried my best not to cry <3
To PAS '17: We did it!!!
To the Abbey: Thanks for the good times but I sure as hell am glad you're gone. Also I'm broke af so I dunno why you keep asking me for money #sorrynotsorry
To Vassar College: HOLY SHIT THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING ME OMG I AM NOT WORTHY OF YOU WOW WOW WOW I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE COLLEGELESS BUT THEN YOU CAME ALONG AND SAVED THE DAY THANKSSSSS
To Grad Week 2k17: You've seen some shit. Let's keep it between us.
To Summer 2k17: Possibly one of my worst summers yet but the one that has taught me the most.
To International Orientation '21: It's lit.
To Domestic Orientation '21: Sorry I spent 90% of the time sleeping through you.
To 1East: Despite smelling like weed 24/7, you're pretty all right.
To Cushing House: The purple Cushosaur holds a dear place in my heart. For real tho, for a dorm named Cushing, you seriously need to invest in some better cushions...
To Room 111: I miss you and the memories I hold there so dearly. Take care of my Linnea.
To Linnea's Post-it notes: You've made me laugh and cry. I love you.
To Skinner Hall: Thanks for listening to me belt in your bathrooms in the ungodly hours of the morning.
To nighttime adventures with Evan: Some of the best highlights this year. I love and miss you so dearly.
To Italiano 105: My dudes, what a wild ride. I'm so bummed I won't be in the same class as you anymore but I'm sure y'all are killing it in the meantime and I hope Filippo is treating you well.
To Bacio's: Lowkey best food in town. 10/10 would recommend.
To the Buddhist Monastery: Something magical happened there. Thank you.
To Evan's sweatpants: You're super cozy and I might never give you back.
To the Wilson-Fisher home: You are my sanctuary. My safe haven. I cannot begin to express my gratitude.
To peppermint hot chocolate: You know where it's at.
To my new room: I'm starting to fall in love with you a little bit.
To my Reasons: You've worked thus far.
To the Library: The start of something good. Really good.
To Loving Vincent: What a masterpiece you are.
To the fog: You bring me peace.
To experiences I have not yet gone through: Please tell me I survive in the end.
To the Sky: The world can't be all bad while you exist.
A lot can happen in a year. It has not been easy but I am so blessed.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
To lists: You see the irony in this, don't you?
To Berklee 2k17: Such a win.
To Legally Blonde: Elle was one of the hardest roles I've ever had to play but it was an absolute honor and privilege to be a part of.
To AP Euro: I think Daddy P finally gave up on us but you gotta admit, we were probs one of his favorite classes, just sayin'.
To Senior Spring: Wow wow wow I accomplished zero things during that time :)
To The Auditorium Wall: I finally got around to signing you. I tried my best not to cry <3
To PAS '17: We did it!!!
To the Abbey: Thanks for the good times but I sure as hell am glad you're gone. Also I'm broke af so I dunno why you keep asking me for money #sorrynotsorry
To Vassar College: HOLY SHIT THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING ME OMG I AM NOT WORTHY OF YOU WOW WOW WOW I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE COLLEGELESS BUT THEN YOU CAME ALONG AND SAVED THE DAY THANKSSSSS
To Grad Week 2k17: You've seen some shit. Let's keep it between us.
To Summer 2k17: Possibly one of my worst summers yet but the one that has taught me the most.
To International Orientation '21: It's lit.
To Domestic Orientation '21: Sorry I spent 90% of the time sleeping through you.
To 1East: Despite smelling like weed 24/7, you're pretty all right.
To Cushing House: The purple Cushosaur holds a dear place in my heart. For real tho, for a dorm named Cushing, you seriously need to invest in some better cushions...
To Room 111: I miss you and the memories I hold there so dearly. Take care of my Linnea.
To Linnea's Post-it notes: You've made me laugh and cry. I love you.
To Skinner Hall: Thanks for listening to me belt in your bathrooms in the ungodly hours of the morning.
To nighttime adventures with Evan: Some of the best highlights this year. I love and miss you so dearly.
To Italiano 105: My dudes, what a wild ride. I'm so bummed I won't be in the same class as you anymore but I'm sure y'all are killing it in the meantime and I hope Filippo is treating you well.
To Bacio's: Lowkey best food in town. 10/10 would recommend.
To the Buddhist Monastery: Something magical happened there. Thank you.
To Evan's sweatpants: You're super cozy and I might never give you back.
To the Wilson-Fisher home: You are my sanctuary. My safe haven. I cannot begin to express my gratitude.
To peppermint hot chocolate: You know where it's at.
To my new room: I'm starting to fall in love with you a little bit.
To my Reasons: You've worked thus far.
To the Library: The start of something good. Really good.
To Loving Vincent: What a masterpiece you are.
To the fog: You bring me peace.
To experiences I have not yet gone through: Please tell me I survive in the end.
To the Sky: The world can't be all bad while you exist.
A lot can happen in a year. It has not been easy but I am so blessed.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Sunday, November 12, 2017
RAWR
Hi. I think you're asleep right now.
I hope you're dreaming about breathtaking things.
Anyway.
I'm writing to let you know that I really can't stop thinking about you, hard as I try.
And that scares me.
Like a lot.
Day 1 went really well, Day 2 even better, and I just can't quite map out how I feel like I've known you all my life.
Is that weird?
Oh, who am I kidding? Of course it's weird.
Don't mind me killing insomnia by writing about you <3
I hope you're dreaming about breathtaking things.
Anyway.
I'm writing to let you know that I really can't stop thinking about you, hard as I try.
And that scares me.
Like a lot.
Day 1 went really well, Day 2 even better, and I just can't quite map out how I feel like I've known you all my life.
Is that weird?
Oh, who am I kidding? Of course it's weird.
Don't mind me killing insomnia by writing about you <3
..........
Are you real?
How did you swim your way to me?
Someone like you doesn't exist.
Not even in my wildest dreams.
No, nobody has those blue-grey eyes of yours.
The dark ring around the exterior, crashing with the softer inside hues.
Nobody's got those shimmering, kaleidoscope eyes that dilate every time they see me.
Nobody's got those full lips that curl upwards without even trying.
Nobody's got that laugh that bubbles up and explodes, before sighing.
You've got me mesmerized, you have.
Inexplicably, like you just washed up ashore and turned out to be the most beautiful thing on this beach.
You're like a battered conch shell that plays echoes of the most stunning song.
You're like that feeling you get after sitting in the sun.
You're like a terrible chaos of wild and fun.
You're like peppermint hot chocolate.
Warm, hot, comforting, minty, great for a rainy day ;)
I like how you look at me when you think I'm not paying attention.
I like how you take my hands in your larger ones, kissing them and keeping them warm.
I like how you made an entire playlist of songs that remind you of me.
I like how you call me My Maya.
I hope I continue to get to know the you you want to be.
I hope your passions grow and allow you to succeed.
I hope the world lights up your eyes like a Christmas tree.
I hope at the end of the day, it's me you get to see.
I cannot promise I will age with grace, I cannot promise I will make no mistakes,
But at the sight of the sun, I shall not run,
And instead take the risk with open arms.
I know it sounds scary, I know, and it is, but the window is open.
Shall we see what happens next?
..........
Rawr.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
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