Hi hi hi
So it's been a hot second since I last posted (was somewhat in a post-show depressive funk, as one does) but I just thought I'd ease your wild concerns and let you know that I've actually had some pretty cool things happen since the show ended.
I mean, their happening didn't really have anything to do with the show ending it just sorta coincided that way and just... Anyway.
I managed to read two entire horrifically depressing yet mildly uplifting books: My Heart & Other Black Holes as well as Beautiful Broken Things. In all honesty I preferred the latter. Felt a bit more realistic and was more about the complexities of teenaged friendship I guess? Good stuff.
I got to meet my uncle Joel's dogs and bring them to the dog park!!!
Also also also I managed to develop an extremely huge crush and have it squashed in three seconds flat so like that was super fun. It's okay though. I mean, I think it will be. I hope it will be. I still want us to be friends.
I got to spend time with my Newsies #yamily at a super yummy food place called Novelty Eats in the Bronx and also at our dear Matt's script reading for his new play. It was shockingly beautiful and truly something else.
Oh also I got to see Hadestown on Broadway with my dad as a joint birthday present for the two of us but that's something that I might need to reserve for a whole other post...
I finally got around to watching Christopher Robin because it happened to be on Netflix and I was not at all disappointed.
Got my first sunburn of the year over something really stupid.
Buying tickets for Avengers: Endgame was essential. We're watching it on Monday. Until then, zero spoilers or I will murder you.
I got to dogsit overnight at someone's apartment and it was such a cool experience. Shea the dog is such a fuckin cutie. I also get to dogwalk for this oldie Puggle named Chloe. Three times a week. It's a dream.
Other than that, I've really just been going to babysitting interviews (some involving some deeply overprotective and micromanaging parents...) and catching up on some annoying college financial aid stuff. The usual.
I think next week, me and my dad may attempt to go see my friend Ottavio's Seussical at his high school. He claims it's gonna be a disaster and a half, I think it's gonna be entertaining as hell. What can ya do.
OH! I ALMOST FORGOT!
I CHANGED MY FIRST EVER TIRE! AND DIAPER! BUT THE TIRE PART IS MORE IMPORTANT!
Lmao I mean I didn't really change the tire, my dad did, but I think it still counts. I helped elevate the car with the weird lever thingy and loosened the bolt things and held the new tire in place and tightened the other bolts and lowered the car again, etc. No big deal :)
Cool cool cool so that's been my update of the day.
Jesus, it's almost 2am. I seriously do not know how I keep doing this.
Anyhow, I love you all to pieces and I hope you get a daily dose of sunshine, metaphorical or not ;)
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Saturday, April 27, 2019
Monday, April 15, 2019
Pseudo Hangovers
Hey folks.
Kind of a lot has happened in the past few days. Among them, I got fired from my first ever job, performed one of the greatest shows of all time with my fellow Newsies cast, booked at least four potential babysitting gigs, and experienced one of my worst bouts of post-show depression to date.
So yeah. A lot. I was asleep practically all day yesterday and didn't wake up til about 10:30pm so I have yet to fall asleep again. Which is bad, I know. My internal clock is all messed up.
Anyway, I'm pretty delirious as I'm writing this. I just kinda felt like I needed to write something. I dunno. I'm tired as fuck and kinda hungry and I have an interview at 3pm today but I couldn't fall asleep without writing something and throwing it out into the universe. Hence, this blogpost.
Gah, I miss my newsies peeps. Like lots.
By the way, post-show depression is kind of a lot like being really badly hungover plus severely mentally ill. In case you were wondering, it super sucks.
There was no real point to this post, so feel free to ignore it.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Kind of a lot has happened in the past few days. Among them, I got fired from my first ever job, performed one of the greatest shows of all time with my fellow Newsies cast, booked at least four potential babysitting gigs, and experienced one of my worst bouts of post-show depression to date.
So yeah. A lot. I was asleep practically all day yesterday and didn't wake up til about 10:30pm so I have yet to fall asleep again. Which is bad, I know. My internal clock is all messed up.
Anyway, I'm pretty delirious as I'm writing this. I just kinda felt like I needed to write something. I dunno. I'm tired as fuck and kinda hungry and I have an interview at 3pm today but I couldn't fall asleep without writing something and throwing it out into the universe. Hence, this blogpost.
Gah, I miss my newsies peeps. Like lots.
By the way, post-show depression is kind of a lot like being really badly hungover plus severely mentally ill. In case you were wondering, it super sucks.
There was no real point to this post, so feel free to ignore it.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Our Little Lives
Just finished reading The Beginning of Everything.
Just remembered that satisfied feeling you get when you finally accomplish reading a book that was taking forever. I dunno, somehow that plus the urge to write. Big time. And not in some small way, either. I want to write big, great things; things people actually want to read; things people stay up all night waiting for, like I did. I want the fantasy and the wonder to come back, the seamless quoting from archaic poetry, the late nights without anxiety, the thrill of being the only one who knows what happens at the end.
I know I'm only me and in the words of Enjolras from Les Mis: "Our little lives don't count at all." But what if the world is simply too large and overwhelming, too frightening and all-encompassing, that all I can truly handle right now is my little life? Doesn't that count for something?
Part of me was destined to break the rules, to be a leader and a game-changer––that much is in my blood. The longing to make a huge impact is there but its hands are tightly wrapped around fear. The world is so big and I am so small. How could I possibly make room for all the pain and suffering in the world? I literally could not stomach it in its entirety. And if that makes me weak, then it makes me weak.
I know there are people far smaller and far braver than I, and I guess I have to be okay with that. I will not be the revolutionary or the paramedic or the missionary or the preacher. I cannot be. I only tell stories and try my best to reach my hand out through the spaces in my words, hoping someone will extend theirs and grab it. I only have enough space for that.
I will never be enough for you, but I am beginning to learn that that's okay. I am enough for me and my little life. If my stories reach other little lives and so on, so be it. Let them hold my hand and know I am walking beside them, too. That's the best I can do.
'Fraid that book I read was a bit existential. Or maybe it's nearly 3am and I'm the one feeling existential. Who knows. Either way, I needed to get that out of my system.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Just remembered that satisfied feeling you get when you finally accomplish reading a book that was taking forever. I dunno, somehow that plus the urge to write. Big time. And not in some small way, either. I want to write big, great things; things people actually want to read; things people stay up all night waiting for, like I did. I want the fantasy and the wonder to come back, the seamless quoting from archaic poetry, the late nights without anxiety, the thrill of being the only one who knows what happens at the end.
I know I'm only me and in the words of Enjolras from Les Mis: "Our little lives don't count at all." But what if the world is simply too large and overwhelming, too frightening and all-encompassing, that all I can truly handle right now is my little life? Doesn't that count for something?
Part of me was destined to break the rules, to be a leader and a game-changer––that much is in my blood. The longing to make a huge impact is there but its hands are tightly wrapped around fear. The world is so big and I am so small. How could I possibly make room for all the pain and suffering in the world? I literally could not stomach it in its entirety. And if that makes me weak, then it makes me weak.
I know there are people far smaller and far braver than I, and I guess I have to be okay with that. I will not be the revolutionary or the paramedic or the missionary or the preacher. I cannot be. I only tell stories and try my best to reach my hand out through the spaces in my words, hoping someone will extend theirs and grab it. I only have enough space for that.
I will never be enough for you, but I am beginning to learn that that's okay. I am enough for me and my little life. If my stories reach other little lives and so on, so be it. Let them hold my hand and know I am walking beside them, too. That's the best I can do.
'Fraid that book I read was a bit existential. Or maybe it's nearly 3am and I'm the one feeling existential. Who knows. Either way, I needed to get that out of my system.
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
Friday, April 5, 2019
Newsies Forever
Hi hi hi.
It's currently 1:30am and I have yet to go to bed. We only just got back from Newsies rehearsal a little while ago. Speaking of, the show is tomorrow (today technically) :) Three whole months of grueling work finally comes together in a live performance tomorrow evening and I could not be more excited. Like, yes, I'm fucking exhausted and I'm pretty sure I only have two functioning brain cells left, but also, this cast has worked so hard for so long and they deserve great things, including a sold out audience (which I'm pretty sure we're gonna have).
What's been so cool about this entire process is that we had no idea we would get here. My dad and I auditioned all the way back in January, knowing absolutely no one in the group and still pretty deep in our depressive slumps. Auditioning for this show was a way out. It was an opportunity to get us out of our shell and into the world, into meeting new and amazing people. And we did exactly that. This cast is full of some of the most humble, most kind and hardworking people I have ever met. Spending time with them each week has been a blessing. Now, we are mere hours away from our opening night and it has all come together (miraculously). We've celebrated at the end of each night this week with a group dance party––sweaty, disheveled and sore––but content, because at the end of the day, we're telling a story about overcoming the odds, and that's exactly what we've done. By the way, we put on a damn good show :)
My eyes are literally closing right now, partly due to fatigue, partly due to eyelash glue, but anyhow...
Chris, our director, has done such an amazing job of keeping the passion alive in this show. Passion is what drives the whole thing. Without it, the show collapses. Angelique, our choreographer, took people from all different dance backgrounds and made them somehow coordinated enough to perform difficult pieces in unison. Patrick, our sweet, kindhearted music director, gifted confidence to those who had never felt comfortable singing before. Anna, our stage manager, and Nico, our set and lighting designer, created simple yet captivating pieces that take us all the way back to 1899. Nicole, our photographer and resident mom, lent us her joyous enthusiasm and made sure we all looked good for the promo videos ;) Kelly, forever our #1 cheerleader, came to practically every rehearsal and got us through many late nights. Then of course there's my whole entire dysfunctional family of a cast.
Brian (Jack) and Jill (Hannah) who are our fearless leaders and also happen to be engaged (they're so cute together, I could die); the adults Robert (Pulitzer), Ahesha (Ms. Medda), Dennis (Mr. Jacobi), Joanie (Seitz), Eileen (Mz. Snyder), Drew (President Roosevelt), and my dad (Bunsen) who have zero clue what they're doing but make it work anyway; the eternal bromance, Matt (Finch) and Sean (Davey) who also happen to own falsettos unknown to any other person on the planet; my girls Frankie (Katherine), Victoria (Beauty), Amanda (Woman XD), Natalie (Tommy Girl) and Aleah (Beauty) who are the only source of femininity in this entire show and quite frankly are a breath of fresh air; then there's Jeffrey (Les), the thirteen-year-old who had us all convinced he was simultaneously eight and forty years old; my boys Justin (Newsie), Phil (Henry), Gino (Albert), Delon (Morris), Joseph (Elmer), Leo (Spot), Joey (Mush), David (Oscar), Maurice (Newsie), Brandon (Romeo), Danny A. (Newsie), and Marquis (Specs) who blow me away with their endless energy, talent, and dedication; the second bromance features my two beautiful boys Danny H (Bill) and Ottavio (Darcy) who light up an entire room just by being there; we have Torrey (Race) who happens to be in a long-term fiery relationship with Angelique and made the phrase "Not like this" unbelievably contagious; and last but not least, Chris-Action (not actually his name, but he played the character Action in West Side Story last fall and the name stuck even thought he hates it with every fiber of his being) playing the role of (Crutchie), and who also happens to be one of the most simultaneously dumb yet brilliant people I've ever met.
If you're still reading, I commend you because those were a lot of names to go through. I don't even know how I'M still here. Seriously. My eyelids are basically glued shut.
Sigh.
Point is, I love this cast very, very much and I can't believe I get to perform Newsies FIVE WHOLE TIMES with them!!! Like, that's just beyond awesome :) My family (Joel, Melissa, Natasha, John, & Gaby) is actually coming to see it this Saturday so that should be super awesome, especially seeing as most of them have never seen me or my dad perform live. Plus, LINNEA IS COMING TOO AND SHE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THE END.
I think my last brain cell just died so I'm gonna wrap this up and try not to trip and die on my way to bed.
Wish me luck and many broken legs for tomorrow y'all!
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
It's currently 1:30am and I have yet to go to bed. We only just got back from Newsies rehearsal a little while ago. Speaking of, the show is tomorrow (today technically) :) Three whole months of grueling work finally comes together in a live performance tomorrow evening and I could not be more excited. Like, yes, I'm fucking exhausted and I'm pretty sure I only have two functioning brain cells left, but also, this cast has worked so hard for so long and they deserve great things, including a sold out audience (which I'm pretty sure we're gonna have).
What's been so cool about this entire process is that we had no idea we would get here. My dad and I auditioned all the way back in January, knowing absolutely no one in the group and still pretty deep in our depressive slumps. Auditioning for this show was a way out. It was an opportunity to get us out of our shell and into the world, into meeting new and amazing people. And we did exactly that. This cast is full of some of the most humble, most kind and hardworking people I have ever met. Spending time with them each week has been a blessing. Now, we are mere hours away from our opening night and it has all come together (miraculously). We've celebrated at the end of each night this week with a group dance party––sweaty, disheveled and sore––but content, because at the end of the day, we're telling a story about overcoming the odds, and that's exactly what we've done. By the way, we put on a damn good show :)
My eyes are literally closing right now, partly due to fatigue, partly due to eyelash glue, but anyhow...
Chris, our director, has done such an amazing job of keeping the passion alive in this show. Passion is what drives the whole thing. Without it, the show collapses. Angelique, our choreographer, took people from all different dance backgrounds and made them somehow coordinated enough to perform difficult pieces in unison. Patrick, our sweet, kindhearted music director, gifted confidence to those who had never felt comfortable singing before. Anna, our stage manager, and Nico, our set and lighting designer, created simple yet captivating pieces that take us all the way back to 1899. Nicole, our photographer and resident mom, lent us her joyous enthusiasm and made sure we all looked good for the promo videos ;) Kelly, forever our #1 cheerleader, came to practically every rehearsal and got us through many late nights. Then of course there's my whole entire dysfunctional family of a cast.
Brian (Jack) and Jill (Hannah) who are our fearless leaders and also happen to be engaged (they're so cute together, I could die); the adults Robert (Pulitzer), Ahesha (Ms. Medda), Dennis (Mr. Jacobi), Joanie (Seitz), Eileen (Mz. Snyder), Drew (President Roosevelt), and my dad (Bunsen) who have zero clue what they're doing but make it work anyway; the eternal bromance, Matt (Finch) and Sean (Davey) who also happen to own falsettos unknown to any other person on the planet; my girls Frankie (Katherine), Victoria (Beauty), Amanda (Woman XD), Natalie (Tommy Girl) and Aleah (Beauty) who are the only source of femininity in this entire show and quite frankly are a breath of fresh air; then there's Jeffrey (Les), the thirteen-year-old who had us all convinced he was simultaneously eight and forty years old; my boys Justin (Newsie), Phil (Henry), Gino (Albert), Delon (Morris), Joseph (Elmer), Leo (Spot), Joey (Mush), David (Oscar), Maurice (Newsie), Brandon (Romeo), Danny A. (Newsie), and Marquis (Specs) who blow me away with their endless energy, talent, and dedication; the second bromance features my two beautiful boys Danny H (Bill) and Ottavio (Darcy) who light up an entire room just by being there; we have Torrey (Race) who happens to be in a long-term fiery relationship with Angelique and made the phrase "Not like this" unbelievably contagious; and last but not least, Chris-Action (not actually his name, but he played the character Action in West Side Story last fall and the name stuck even thought he hates it with every fiber of his being) playing the role of (Crutchie), and who also happens to be one of the most simultaneously dumb yet brilliant people I've ever met.
If you're still reading, I commend you because those were a lot of names to go through. I don't even know how I'M still here. Seriously. My eyelids are basically glued shut.
Sigh.
Point is, I love this cast very, very much and I can't believe I get to perform Newsies FIVE WHOLE TIMES with them!!! Like, that's just beyond awesome :) My family (Joel, Melissa, Natasha, John, & Gaby) is actually coming to see it this Saturday so that should be super awesome, especially seeing as most of them have never seen me or my dad perform live. Plus, LINNEA IS COMING TOO AND SHE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THE END.
I think my last brain cell just died so I'm gonna wrap this up and try not to trip and die on my way to bed.
Wish me luck and many broken legs for tomorrow y'all!
Hasta la próxima,
Much love xoxo
Maya
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