When you love someone, and they die, does your love not go with them?
Is it not normal to want to die, just so you can be with them again?
How does one go on when every breath you take feels as though it might be your last?
When your tears become acid rain and living dwindles into chronic pain?
Is it not normal to forget how to smile? how to laugh? how to breathe?
Believe me, I'm trying to remember, I am.
It's just not that simple; it's just not.
How does one learn to feel again?
To take every step with purpose, to love and allow oneself to be loved?
Who gave you the right to pour tar into my lungs?
Who are you to rest in peace when all I've left are pieces of me?
I gave you all the love I had and you... Did you care at all?
Or did you care too much? Too little? Too deeply? Too roughly? Too simply?
Where did we go wrong?
Did we care too much? Too little? Too deeply? Too roughly? Too simply?
I'm sorry. No, I am.
Just teach me how to live again, tell me what to do.
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1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+
1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+
1+4+3+4+1+4+3+4+1+4+3+4+1+4+3+4+
1+5+6+7+1+5+6+7+1+5+6+7+1+5+6+7+
1+2+3+4+1+2+3+4+1+2+3+4+1+2+3+4+
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You are made of light. The world shines because of you.
Water yourself and grow because your time is almost up, love.
..........
If only if only I could remember how to breathe... I am far too tired to remember who I was and far too scared to find out what awaits. I don't remember how I got here but it has not been easy. How I wish I could go. Let go of these fleshy bodies and go. I miss my old kingdom, darling. I miss my people, my loves, my joys and wishes and dreams. They've all gone, darling and it's been excruciating without them. I need to be reunited, lest I fall into the abyss. I would love to take you with me, but darling it is not your time. You've still got so much more. So much more. I've already gone, you just don't know it yet. Please don't be alarmed when you discover my departure. I'm afraid it was my time. The tar had already taken over my lungs, the darkness had already swallowed me whole. I knew it was coming. I'm not surprised, so don't you fret. I am merely taking a little rest. A little rest and my soul shall revive. Join me, but do not make haste. I am patient. I shall wait.
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The longer I stay, the more detached I grow. Do not take offense, darling. It is not you. It was never you. It was the demons, darling. They're invisible, for the most part, but they were always so very loud. So loud I lost all sense of who I was. The demons, they fed on me, my thoughts, hopes, fears. They knew how to unlock it all. They had full access. Please do not blame me, I fought my very hardest. I did, my love, I did. I tried to drown it out, I tried to succeed like you told me to. Like you said I would.
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Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go.
911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911 911
Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go.
Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go. Know where to go.
Know when to GROW.
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Musings over the past several dawns and dusks. None of them complete. All of them connected.
I'm sorry.
Maya
